miracle.

2008-04-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

cbcBefore I say anything else, I just wanna prove how cool the face i make is.
It is SO cool, that even Mig Ayesa from We Will Rock You does it. KTHANKS IM AWESOME HEAR ME RAWR.

It's 4:45 and I can't sleep cause Kegan woke me up to open the door for him.
So i shall do the long awaited post everyone has been NAGGING the hell out of me for =]

First of all, Chelsea's party.

It was awesome, mostly cause of the people around me. Spent the night getting high. It was really amusing to watch everyone like that. There was a little conflicts cause we didn't socialise at first, but after that, we tried to cause it's Chelsea's party and we need her to have the best party ever. So after everyone left, we fell asleep. SO MUCH FOR STAYING UP. we were all pretty wiped. Chelsea, Rachel, Mervyn and I squeezed on one fucking bed. It was annoying cause at first Chelsea kept moving her arse and it banged mine. We kept shouting at each other. We finally fell asleep and we woke up to swim around 6. Bought MACS breakfast, (SORRY FOR FORGETTING YOUR BROTHER CHELSEA) and after we ate, I left with Keith,Mark and Mervyn. I was laughing at myself, cause it was 2 Ks and 2 Ms. Okay, self entertainment. Then I played with the squeezy dick toy. "Your face is a dick"
Pictures at the end of the post.

Tuesday at Chips.

Oh gosh, all the drama on that day. We got pretty much drunk by 10, and Sharmila passed out and Jolyn was scaring me again, like it always is, haha. Then Trish and I had a talk, and I went back to drinking. Then I sent Mervyn and Hansen home.
We got together in the first place to say goodbye to Sam, who is now in Army.
WE'LL MISS YOU MR SAM

Junita,Michaela,Chelsea,Natalie,Rachel

The boyss

=]]

The boys again. LOL to faiz

Happy birthday

She's so cute la

Cue Fans.

Take a picture before she cuts

LOL

Chitra is love

Caught in the act Pork.

ROFLMAO

Short dresses and matching converse shoes =]

Matthew and Faiz

The girlxZzZx

Don't you see the happiness in her eyes

Gerald's dare ; Gride the tree. He grinded Matthew before that and he fell in the fucking bushes.
Priceless.

Still the guys.

"When you see me smile.. eh?" HAHA

The cutest/perfect-est couple ALIVE.

Ew, Mervyn cock eyed.

Slacking

I was wearing shorts =]

Morning Keith!

Threesome slide

Chelsea sexy only

LOL JUN

I was lazy to swim, and i don't know about them

Rachel

Just step inside

Mervyn took a REALLLY embarrassing picture of me.
So i hide my face

I love Rachel Ann Marie Tay

Acting hot =]

Tuesday.

Jolyn is shex

He's the reason we were gathered here that day

Sharmila loves me way too much. AND THOSE ARE SAMS HANDS, arse.

Hansen is crazy

Half of Mervyn

The gayz.

Heh i HEART her.

LMFAO SAM

I have no comment =]

I love trish

Yes i do

I love trish. How bout you

LEE

SUPERLEE

Kitty is love.

Was suppose to be emo. FAIL.

Also, just for laughs
and cause I miss her.

Cause I'm crazy bout you.
And you're only a few metres away.
Seems too far.
Way too far.

2008-04-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

So i sat and watched.
Watched as my different groups of friends each had conflicts.
I realised, Pre is right.
Too much drama, I don't need this right now.
The drama, esp when you're sitting and watching, is so unnecessary.
I don't like big groups of friends.

Watched Superhero something movie today
It's funny, fucking retarded.
I love retarded movies
AND drake bell.
yay me

Rachel's confirmation tomorrow, can't wait for that either
I get to meet everyone from sec 1 and 2.
It's my last weekend to have fun, so I shall spend it in church ;)
Cause that's the innocent girl I am.
OKAY, mug next week Karina, mug.
IF I ASK YA'LL TO MEET ME, TELL ME TO FUCK OFF.

kthxbye

2008-04-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

I sat in the toilet with her, my hand under her mouth
She was coughing and sneezing blood.
The toilet was covered in blood, and so was I.
Anyone who walked in, would've thought it was a murder scene.
Tears rolled down my face, and dropped on the floor.
I watched it mix with the blood already there.
She laid down, and I put ice on her nose.
I thought it was working, she wasn't coughing or sneezing anymore.
Then she got up and looked at me
I smiled, thinking it was better.
I looked down, there was a puddle of blood there.
A fucking big puddle.
The ambulance came, and took her away.
I'm so worried, I don't know how I can live without her.
Everyone assures me she won't die, but anyone can , with that much loss of blood.
I'm suppose to die before her.
I can't remember how life was without her.
I know it's happened before, but I've never seen it.
Dad says it's been happening for days, since tuesday.
I've always been out, so I've never seen it.
I panicked seeing it.
I didn't know what to do.
They say this could spread to me as well.
I don't give a shit, I'm more worried about her.

Get well soon Princess.
I love you too much.
I lost Mike already, I don't wanna lose you.
You're like my best friend.

This is one unlucky start of the year.

2008-04-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

I got a new laptop =]
It's awesome shit.
The webcam is really clear.

I wanna watch We will rock you again. Trying to ask derrick to buy stuff from the store when he goes to watch it.
A dvd maybe?

More importantly

I GOT THE TICKETS TO CF
I GOT THE TICKETS TO CF
I GOT THEM I GOT THEM
IM TOTALLY NOT GOING TO MISS THEM
CAUSE I EFFING GOT THEM
WEEE

2008-04-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

Looking back on my previous posts, I've realised my laziness has resulted in emo-ish posts, or just posts with pictures. So I'm going to try to post normally, but yah, there IS pictures.

Well, on Wednesday, I skipped school to meet Dan for a while. Then after that, I went to school to meet Junita and Rachel to go shopping. We tried on loads of retarded clothes, it was so funny. Then I met Lee, and he found a nice nice dress for me (which sadly I didn't end up wearing) . We then made our way to meet Trishhhh. She wanted to eat Burger king, so we went there. OMG we laughed so hard, I miss hanging out , just us 3. We should do it more.
Even while waiting for a cab, we laughed and laughed. I love you guys.

On thursday, Rachel,Junita,Chitra and I made our way to Haji Lane to go SHOPPING for saturday. We were all so excited but when we reached there, it started raining. REALLY heavily. So naturally, like any normal person would do, we played in the rain. The water went up to our ankles, it was awesome. Everyone was staring at us or smiling/laughing at us as we walked past them, but we didn't care cause we had fun.
Obviously, we couldn't try any clothes on cause we were drenched, but Rachel still managed to buy 2 nice dresses. We were so happy the girl let us in, she's awesome. There was one woman, who actually closed the door on us as we walked towards it. How rude right? Don't want our money, hmph. I saw this really nice dress, but the woman only had like, size small, so i said fuck and walked away =]
We then FINALLY got a cab and made our way to my place. In the cab, we were beyonce-ing and dancing and singing and the cab aunty was really friendly, she's awesome.
She was so caring, she waited for us to go into the house, and kept shooing us and asking us to faster so we won't get sick.
Then, Clarissa came and we ate pizzas and watched tv.Then Elwi came so I went for tution, and I don't know what the rest did, but then they left =[

Friday was a bad day for me. Alot of things happened. BUT all four of us from yesterday wore slippers cause our shoes were wet, it was so funny. We were moshing during morning exercise, and Chitra's nail broke. After that, I went to meet Val. We walked and walked around, met Lee , followed him to a job interview, and went chips for a while. Then we left. Val didn't talk much ;)
But i understand. I STILL LOVE YOU VAL. how is it anyway?

Saturday was... hectic. I woke up really early cause I was WAAY to excited for the evening. I wore this black and white dress and pierced my ears with some random needle, cause my ear hole closed. Then I went to meet my "date" Mervyn, and we ate at burger king. Mervyn bit his tongue and it bledbledbled like SHIT. Then we took a cab to SJI which , surprisingly, was really near. Someone told me it was at the other end of the world. Only Chelsea was there at that time with Mark. Soon after everyone came though. We camwhored and then went to watch the show. The seniors were REALLY good, and so were the teachers. =]
We made our way to Esplanade to eaat, then went Mervy and I made our way to the waterside, we saw Gordon and Sharmila. But they had to leave, so we said goodbye, then the loveys Chitra,Pork,Rachel,Clar and Junita joined us and we WALKED LIKE HELL to some random place to sit and place "i never, i have" It didn't last long. At 12 30, Mervyn and I left =]

On Sunday, I went over to Stella's place at like 10 30. We swam and tanned, then went upstairs and ate Macs. Ben came and started like curling my hair. I looked like a grandma. We then tried to burn Stella's house down, with very little success. I left at 6.

Random thoughts.

"He was messaging me the whole weekend, and I jumped everytime I got a message cause I thought it was him. Then he said I was a good friend, and I nearly cried. But I can't do much, I've been a friend for ages and that's all I'll ever be"

"Mike's mum called me again today. She finally told me how he.. left. Mike's never seemed like the kind of person to hang himself, and I really never saw that coming. I took him for granted, cause I thought he'd always be there. We don't speak every day, like I do with my other friends, but when he comes down, I have the most fun I ever have in Singapore. I'll miss you Mike. I was looking forward to introducing you to my friends.. and my crush. But that won't happen. I admit I'm mad, mad that you wouldn't even tell me you'll be doing that. You know I won't stop you, but I would've probably begged you to come over sooner, and spend time with me, before you do. I didn't try to stop Crissy, you know that. Mike, I'll miss you. I love you babe. Thank's for introducing me to Crissy. Thanks for making me snap out of depression after Jake. I'll never forget you for that."

Wednesday.

Lee's best friend, outside cascaden.

TRISSSHHHH

He's crazy

Now he's emo

Then crazy again

Now she's emo

He looks like he's cackling

Trish and her onion ring.

Thursday.

"My name's ______"

Rachel, Junita, Me, Chitra

Random chinese woman

LOL at all our faces

Can't see anything cause it's raining too hard

WINDDD

Very strong wind

Monroe Failure

HAHA

Junito.

OMG the rain

Splishy splashy

watteeerr

PEACEE

Deep deep water

Mental

OMG the water is crazy, lol

Thats how we walked

I love the splashing

More splashing

AHAHAHHA JUNITA

Meet my double chin

Chitra is naturally like that

Rachels face

I don't know what I was doing.

Co0l picture

When my tv gets bored, it moves around

Friday

Junito

Rachel

Me

Saturday

Mervy

All of us

Junito, her black bra and Clarissa

Mervyn took this

Nicki and Mervi

Chelsea is prettyyy

SO is mikeey

So i take a picture with them TOGETHER

Rachel and her cute cute box thing

Piggy

I spy leopard spots, and also Melaine in background

Me, Mervyn, Pork,Chitra,Junita,Clar, Rachel

Sunday

Pink bikini undywear

Stella

Alcohol helped with the burning

Too much

Ben, lol

It was really big

He didn't want me taking pictures of him

Stella was on the com

Camwhore

Ben made me have grandma hair

heh

He wasn't even done.

Stella

I look crazy

My hair looks longg

Longer than usual

Tongueee

Cause I'm actually an angel in disguise

2008-04-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

RIP MIKE.

i've known you 6 years, and I don't know what happened, cause your mum refuses to let me know now, but RIP, please.

Tell Jake and Crissy I miss them
Alot.

thats another friend lost.

2008-04-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was awesome.
Met up with Trish at 3:30 in Somerset. Well, 4 10 actually, i was late. SORRY LOVE!
Then we walked to Far East to meet up with Mervyn and then Wistma to meet Iylia.
Then we seperated cause Mervyn and Iylia had to meet up with Sharmila and we couldn't follow her cause Jolyn and I lied to her, and said we couldn't come.
So Trish and I met Jolyn and we chilled at Starbucks, the one near Black Angus. Our normal area is under renovation, how depressing right? =[
We did the signs for Sharmila, Each of us did one letter of her name. Trish did A , Jolyn did S and I did H. Adib appeared out of no where and chilled with us too. Then Trish's teacher came to say HELLO and I nearly hugged her cause i thought she was our friend, HAHA.
The rest called us so we made our way to CHIPS to meet them. Iylia did a toast to her then we stood in a line, each holding a letter. I was holding a ugly A i did like 2 seconds ago, and Adib held my A. Then we said happy birthday to her and someone said Sharmila cried but I couldn't see =[
We each hugged her then Trish and I went downstairs to Cuscaden to say HELLOO to the loves downstairs.
Kitty, Megan, Nick and the other people whose names I cant really remember.
Went back up and we played the drinking game.
AS USUAL, Sharmila puked. HAHA.

Soon, Sarah and her friends came, then Damien and his friends came, then Ryan and Kitty and Megan and Amit and their friends came. I was like YAY ALL MY LOVES!
Wwe played more drinking games and before I knew it, it was like 9ish and Iylia,Rachel and Pre left =[

Trish and I went down again to meet Nick and we sat a while with him, then went back up.
Around 10 o clock, Skid, Zach, Tim, Kristian, Lian, Grace and Ping came.
Kristian did a shot of B52 with me (no one else wanted to =[ ) then I left at 10 30.
I waited for a cab for AGESSS before I gave up and walked to Trish. She made me call myself a cab and while waiting for the cab to come, I had a chat with Damien, Andrew and Sean, I think. They're nice <3>

PICTURESSY

Birthday Girl

She's weird

And she looks drunk

HAHAH We look quite fucked

She looks really happy =D and i look crazy

I don't know what I was doing

MEET TRISH!

And another

And another!

I LIKE THIS PICTURE

He's crazy.

Trish was trying to scare him

Uh, I SEE MY REDBULL WHICH JOLYN STOLE!

OMG PROOF THAT SHE STOLE IT, lol.
I fell on the guy behind me, but it was only a little wack.

I don't know who took this, but it's gross.

Sarah is loove

Trish thinks so too

I don't look VERY fat, wow

JOLYNNN

"eh, get that out of my ass"

Such camwhores.

He sticks out his tongue alot.

OMGWTF ROFLMAO TO MERVYN'S FACE

Rachel is cool, Sharmila is not.

She wanted to pull his mohawk

She was staring at me, thinking "wow, im so glad she's my friend. I'm so lucky"

I wasn't there when this was taken so I don't know the story

Uh, yah, people

Mervyn

More people

Stoneee

Camwhores

Pretty

"It's still in my ass"

Meet Sam

She's damn sweet looking =D

Jolyn's like "SMILEE" and iylia's like "EHH WHERES THE BEER"

hahahahahahha to A-B-I-D's face

He looks evil cause of his eyes

I don't know who took this, but i have a picture that looks almost exactly the same.

Act cool

I'm off now, Meeting Jolyn for a while, then the pair of darlings Rachel and Junita.

XOXO

2008-03-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

Karina =] says:
i cant wait for saturday either, but i havent gone shopping yet

Bianca says:
aw haha whats saturday?

Karina =] says:
my school has some concert going on

Bianca says:
fun!!

Karina =] says:
HAHA yes im so exciting

Karina =] says:
eh, excited

WAHAHAH YES IM SO EXCITING! <3
How embarassing la, tsk.
I have to go shopping thougghh,goshh

<3333

Long asked post

2008-03-23T20:08:00.000-07:00

I haven't been in the mood for a long post, cause I haven't had a computer to post on.
If you wanna check on my thailand post, go to Mervyn or Lily's blog.
This past week,so much has happened. I've lost so many people, i've witnessed so much shit.
I feel like crying just thinking about it.
I don't know what my life is about anymore. I tell myself it's about school right now, but I'm dreading monday, cause i dont wanna see her.
Then, I have to tahan all that till Friday, when I finally get to hang with the people I care about.
Then i reach home, and arrive back to reality, of my life at home.
This is what I have to go through everyday and I just wish I had someone to talk to but I refuse to talk to anyone about all this, cause I'm sick. I'm sick and tired of my friends giving me a sympathetic face, and saying they understand.
I'm trying not to sound emo, but you guys really don't.
I know I'm not going through the WORST of problems, others have worse, but it's bad enough for me.

Well, I on Friday, I went over to Bianca's to take the bunnies. They stayed with me for a day and I sent them over to Arina's the next day. Friday night, I spent it at church and it ended on an awkward note.
Saturday ended on that same note, then Dan came and screwed things over even more.

To prevent that from happening, I spent today home. I've been crying, cause for once, I sat down and analized everything, and realised what has happened, and is happening to me.
I actually, truly, hate ~~myself~~my life.

BUNNY RABBITS

CHURCH

Alyssia

Outside Church

Candless

Camwhore

Mother Mary

That's Jesus

What we were waiting for

After at Dinner

He was drunk

SATURDAY

They're crazy part 1

They're crazy part 2

They're crazy part 3

WAHA

Trish looking hot

Wanna make out ?

Her seductive face

Please, dont tell me to cheer up. Don't ask what's wrong. These words make me cry even more.
I got to get through this, alone.

p.s. Thank you Jolyn,Lily,Stella and Lee.

2008-03-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

She said she hates me
She said she wishes she never gave birth to me
that Im not her daughter anymore

I've tried all my life to make her like me. To be the favourite child. I study alot, I pass my exams, I barely lie, I come back when asked to, yet she hates me
I never understoood

I don't feel like updating on my trip, maybe when I'm feeling better.

i love you all.
xoxo

2008-03-04T14:40:00.000-08:00

I miss these days
Where the 12 were actually 12.
It all seems so split up now, I just want us to be the group again.
What happened to the baduts 12?

I didn't go to school today, just all seemed too depressing for me.
The gang not being how we used to be.
Here are some old pictures from when us 12 were still us 12.

All 12 of us.

Zakiah,Mikey,Me,Claire,Arina,Chaiming

Mikey,Me,rach

Claudia,Junita,Mikey,Chel,Me,Chaiming

Same people, but failed

11 of us. Zakiah was missing

If our uniforms were red.

Yellow

White-ish.

My personal fav, Black

Green

Pink-ish

The 12 of us again

<3 href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9oWMXRgeJ0A/R8zr30-bInI/AAAAAAAAA_Q/psj7pQD9Gqg/s1600-h/IMG_0966.JPG">
Junita,Me,Mikey

Extreme swing =D

Kaisha,Me,Junita,Mikey,Rachel

Kaisha,Me,Junita,Mikey,Rachel

We were acting scared.

We were excited la

Ew, fat legs, lol

I look like a fat boy, I find that amusing

Wabbit

Mikey , lol

Blue shirt guy and black shirt guy

His name is Chucky, =]

Reverse Bungee

Acting Scared again

Round two, Junita,Me,Claire and a random couple

We weren't as scared as we were before

Only claire was scared

Im like woo bitch

Reverse Bungee

We should really work things out.

2008-03-03T21:30:00.000-08:00

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through the pain

And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die

(Chorus)
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
It's amazing
That when the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And a how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey - not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive

(Chorus)

ididntgettosee<3today
<33stoppedmessagingme
I miss Iylia,PreandSharmila

2008-03-02T10:29:00.000-08:00

HELLO MY ANGEL
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I LOVE YOU JOLYN.
I REALLY DO.
YOURE 16 ZOMGGGGG

<3

also, today was fun, but i forgot to give her the letter, FUCK LA, it took me so long to do. i WAS SHAKING when i was with her, that's the first

Update

2008-02-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

School hasn't been all so good lately. Cause other than soccer, everything else sucks. Friend's are coming and going, and partners are changing, and all cause of one outing. The out-crowd and the in-crowd. Why can't it just be one gang again?

Outside of school, I met up with Trish lately. We had a long talk, okay, not so long cause people kept bothering, but still a talk. It turned out good.

An old friend, recently told me she wants me to be part of her circle of friends again. I nearly cried of happiness. I miss her so much, and being able to be friends with her again, wow, i don't even know how to explain it. I just don't. But I'm glad, oh so glad.

Hmm, update on the crush, lol.
If you've been a friend of mine for a long time, I probably would've told you about him, seeing as i've crushed over him for nearly 3 ish years. Well, we started messaging each other lately and i like melt at every message. But a few days ago, a friend of mine,and his, told me he was dating someone. So i was like okay whatthefuck whatever. Now he says he's lying. And I don't know what to believe. Whatever anyways, I would rather melt from afar, like I do with another certain someone who's amazingly gorgeous.You won't believe how gorgeous she is till you meet her, lol

Okay, the end.

I've been pushed around one too many times. I've been used and spat out again. And it seems this time, it's happening again. But i won't let it. Bestie made me see something.This isn't right.

2008-02-25T22:34:00.000-08:00

SO there was this boy name Jake who lived in a all boys dorm.
One day, Jake saw his friend, Matthew, walking with some chick.
The thing it, he couldn't see the chick's face, only half could be seen.
This girl followed Matthew into his room.
Jake didnt know what was going on, but he didn't want to intrude, so he just went back to his room.
That night, Jake couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned but he couldn't sleep, he was thinking about that girl. I mean, why would a girl be in this dorm? How did she even get in?!
So Jake walked out of his room, and walked to Matthews. He didn't want to open the door, so he peeped through the keyhole, but all he saw was red.
No furniture, nothing, just RED.
Jake didn't understand what was going on, so he just walked back to his room, confused.

The next day, everyone was talking about a ghost sighting. Someone went up to Jake and asked him if he saw anything. Jake said he didnt, and the other guy answered" YEAH THERE WAS A GHOST! HER EYES WERE RED!"

=] sweet dreams.

2008-02-25T05:14:00.001-08:00

You're so two faced.
I don't get how you do it.

2008-02-24T05:37:00.000-08:00

You're a bitch.
A real fucking bitch.
You're acting like this is all my fault.
You're the one who's fucked up.
But you're trying to make me feel guitly.
Well fuck you.
like, really.

So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time. As far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn

2008-02-20T19:51:00.000-08:00

Long long long awaited pictures.
I've been really busy, haven't had a day home after school yet. Met up with Stella yesterday, Ben was there too. We went window shopping at Paragon. Then I went to her house, and then came back for tution.

On valentines day, i got dumped. I'm over it, but he's an ass for doing it on that day. But whatever, there are so many BETTER people out there. And I'm not just telling myself that, I truely don't care anymore

On sunday (i think?) I met up with Bianca, Lee and of course Stella. It was my 2nd time meeting Bianca and I'm still not over the fact she's fucking hot. Haiyo, what to do, lol. We were hungry and went to Sakae Sushi to eat. Lee gagged over tofu and we each ate 1 or 2 sushi. Wow huh? We had nothing to do so we went to topman, and tried talking to some random guy, but we were too shy. Then uh, I don't know what else happened, but Lee came over to my place and we acted like retards, the end.
Got my chemisty and A math paper back. I'm not happy with either marks. 14/15 for chem and 23/40 for A math. Back to studying, I seriously need it
I'm done typing, I gotta go for tution. UGGH.

I DUNO WHAT DAY

Her hair has a dog face on it

Sharmila cause I miss her

Heeh.

Ungerlam

Two random hot guys who aren't actually random

Mohd. Fauzi

Jolyn and her dress

Meet my double chin

It feels weird

OMG ITS LEE

Underwear purse

Schooool

VALENTINES DAY

Getting ready

Our sexy faces

My mirror

0.O

Can you see my sock tan? LOL

Cavanas

Faizaaaaal

Shaaaaun

The birds were on a date

Total Defence day

If girls were in the army

They'd be hot

401

Our mascot for army

Minah lar

Last Weekend

OMG ITS STELLA

Lee's frog =D

The back of Lee's Frog

She's just happy im there

Weird position

Loving her dress

ITS LILYY

Lee is like eeeh and Stella really just loves me too much ;)

Heh pink bra

Harriet <3

I'm like a retard

His cross on his hand is skinny, cause he is. That's why mine was fat, RIGHT STELLA

Steela sexy ah

Froggie going for a ride

Sakae Sushi

DO IT all ;)

EEEEEW so cute

I'm just busy eating my sweets

UH, gray shirt?

She looks so good

Like wow

Uh, we WERE NOT acting emo

Retard, and i mean me

KaWaii WOrXx

Bianca is all cool and Lee is like "Peace bitch"

I love dimples =]

HOT RIGHT, i told you, lol

Fucking awesome camera which I don't know how to use

I love this picture for some reason

She was sad.

This picture looks awkward for some reason

And Stella didn't wanna stop taking pictures

So i decided to change my face

THAT'S NOT LEE'S HAIR!

She's crazy

He was just too in love with my Ipod

I loved making her look naked

Even thought she wasn't

OKAY the end. I'm meeting Trish tomorrow, and Stella, Lee (maybe ben and bianca?)and everyone else on Friday.Best of all, Rachel Ann Tay is coming <3

<3

Anger Management

2008-02-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

I don't get it sometimes. I try my best to stay near you, so you don't feel left out. When you show me attitude, like you did today, i control my anger. I was shaking, at how angry I was at your attitude, everyone could see it except you.
You say I forgot about you? WTF no. I tried talking to you and you showed me attitude, so I gave up. I asked everyone if they knew what was wrong, I thought fine, maybe you're going through something, but no one knew.
Obviously I won't fucking ask you right. Everytime I ask you, you put the blame on me. You say I like my other friends more, or I was rude to you. I don't see how you can expect me to be nice to you when you're not nice to me.You don't seem to see how I always try to stick to you so you dont feel the way you always do. Yes, I'm insecure too, but really. You wouldn't be left out if you don't leave yourself out. If you included yourself, you would realise that. But instead you stick to yourself or wait to people to come to you and I think it's time you realise not everyone can. I've been doing it alot but I have other friends too and as much as i love you, I can't have only ONE friend the whole 2 years I have left in school. Anyways, If you don't put the blame on me, you give me retard answers. You either mumble mm or say nothing. What do you want me to do? Shake it out of you? This has happened too many times before and I know what to do or not to do. I'm not making the same mistake I did before.

It's all up to you. I'm not pissed, I just don't get why you always put the blame on me.

2008-02-17T02:27:00.000-08:00

Ugh, my com is being a bitch so I can't do anything. Im on my brothers com now, he's sleeping.

Been meeting a lot of new people lately. I never realised singapore had that many awesome people. Waha. Don't know what to say. I'm fucken tired, but I can't sleep, cause Sean is here. ZOMG Sean.

okaywhateverkarinawhatever.

Cartoons with Stella tomorrow. Yay stella.

Most importantly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIYANG AND MUMMY

blah.

2008-02-10T15:20:00.000-08:00

I don't get how some girls can be all "oooh i love insert-guys-name and i will love him forever" one day and the next day it's a different guy.
So much for forever. Okay, I may have said forever once or twice too, but I don't get over the guy the NEXT DAY. What's WRONG with you people.

Anyways, I have a hangover and everyone else is either sleeping or doing last minute homework, so unless i find someone to go out with, i'm spending yet another Sunday at home.

Also, Parents are off to Thailand on Saturday. And practically my whole week is taken for soccer. So please don't ask me to meet you guys on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, cause I may have to scream. So much for soccer being slack. Oh well, it's fun la.

Oh, last thing. I'll BARELY be online nowadays, my laptop its boring and my com is screwed =]

2008-02-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

Anyways darls, I wrote this for you on like the 5th, but you didn't see it, rah, so I'm gonna repost it kays?

Love, I know what you're going through. I know, I do.
But love, Don't lose your faith in love cause ONE FUCKER two timed you.
I found this in a book, maybe it'll help.
No matter what happens, I love you.

Why do men cheat?
Because..
- They're too damn stupid to know they have something wonderful already.
- They think they're entitled to more.
- It's easier to keep a few women dangling on a string than to try to truly get close to just one.
- They need numerous conquests to shore up their shakey egos.
- They have some damaged idea of what masculinity is.
- They're incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

Love, there are better guys out there, guys who will understand that you are fucking awesome and that they're just lucky to have you. Be paitent, he'll come along.

*I'm not saying all guys are like that la, it's from a book, stop complaining.

2008-02-08T17:23:00.000-08:00

Met up with Evan to watch a movie yesterday. I asked the taxi driver to bring me to lido, and he brought me to orchard towers, so i got lost, LOL. But i found my way around, without asking directions and felt proud of myself. So i gave myself a pat on the head and waited for Mr Evan to come. Then we realised The Mist wasn't playing anymore so we went to many different places and finally decided to go to Kallang to watch it.
We didn't even know there was a cinema in Kallang but oh well! We got the tickets and watched the movie. I got scared a few times, I'm sure Evan was amused la. All in all good movie, but the ending is damn depressing. I was laughing at how depressing it was, wtf?
Then we went over to Bianca's house after getting lost for a while. We ate KFC, laughed at bad english, laughed at liquor, then her father sent us home.

Today I didn't do anything except buy new shoes. I love the shoes!

PUPPIES !

OMG CUTEE

Meet Bianca

Evan's camera shy?

Hello, im Karina and im .... /\

Also, it's important for you to know that i /\

NEW SHOES! I see my dad in the background in the car, lol

After 2 weeks of waiting, I'm damn happy <3

Welcome back home Bestie. Hope you had fun in Malaysia!

2008-02-07T15:42:00.000-08:00

I can't stand this shouting.
I'm sick of being the match maker in this shit.
I don't get why you're giving me the most responsiblity, when I'm the fucking youngest
Don't use the "but you're a girl" reason on me la, thats a shit excuse.
Why can't you see I just want that childhood so many people went through.
Instead of the screwed one i have now
Don't you even care enough to put up false happiness so your 15 year old daughter would grow up, believing in love?
You all ask why I'm barely home now
I don't get why you don't understand my friends are my only source of love right now.

Well fuck it, Pre is right anyway.
At least I'm not one of those unluckier kids.
I can't wait till I'm outta here.

My tears run down like razor-blades and no, I'm not the one to blame.
It's you, or is it me?
There's no sense in playing games when you've done all you can do.
I lose myself in all these fights, i lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry. Shaking from the pain that's in my head, I just wanna crawl into my bed and throw away the life I've led. But I won't let it die.
It's not over unless you let it break you.
So, it's not over.

To you.

2008-02-05T02:38:00.000-08:00

Love, I know what you're going through. I know, I do. But love, Don't lose your faith in love cause ONE FUCKER two timed you. I found this in a book, maybe it'll help. No matter what happens, I love you.

Why do men cheat?

Because..
- They're too damn stupid to know they have something wonderful already.
- They think they're entitled to more.
- It's easier to keep a few women dangling on a string than to try to truly get close to just one.
- They need numerous conquests to shore up their shakey egos.
- They have some damaged idea of what masculinity is.
- They're incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

Love, there are better guys out there, guys who will understand that you are fucking awesome and that they're just lucky to have you. Be paitent, he'll come along.

Happy birthday jakey wakey

2008-02-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

If you were alive...

Happy birthday Jake.
The big 21! Wow, you would be able to go clubbing!
Happy birthday, I wish we could do our annual sleepover and cake fight.
Hah to wishful thinking aye.

Well, your chocolate fudge cake is downstairs, I bought it for you.
And i'll cry tomorrow, cause it'll still be there, cause you can't eat it, cause you're dead.
But I'll feel bad, whats a birthday without a cake.
It's still your birthday, you still need a cake.

Aunty Lizzie, I know you check up on my blog alot lately, find out how im doing years after his death.
I know you're going through what I'm going through, and we probably are never going to get over it, but aunty, it's time you live. Don't stay home and lock yourself inside. Your daughter still needs you, she's becoming the worst a girl could be, she needs a mother. I know it's hard, it being his birthday/deathday, but if you go through this every year, how will your daughter be growing up? Jakey wouldn't want this of you. You know that and I know that. I know I havent met you since his death, wow, 5 years, but Aunty Lizzie, I love you. Don't torture yourself like i do , please. Aunty Lizzie, eat and go out, talk to your friends and don't shut us out, we still care about you. Yes, Jake is gone, but Evangeline isn't . If she goes tomorrow, how would you feel? Don't take life for granted, and stop being like me, Stop blaming yourself for his death, One of us is bad enough

Feb 4th. Feb 4th. Feb 4th. Your birthday.
And hey, tmr? Your death anniversary.
Isn't life screwy like that?

WAIT, why am i talking to you? You're not here. But oh well, i wish you were
I hate staying home on Feb the Third. Sitting down, staring at the clock, counting down with tears in my eyes.

p.s. Yes, i lied, its not midnight yet, i changed the time. I can't wait till midnight, i wanna sleep before its actually your birthday. My mum wont understand, she just wont. She'll just say I'm being over dramatic. I dont get why she doesnt understand. I just dont.

2008-02-02T23:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, so yesterday we celebrated Junita's birthday at Seoul Garden. I came a little late cause I was having a bad hair day, and I got lost, so Kaisha had to pick me up. By the time i reached, Natalie, Junita, Mikey, Kaisha, Claire, Chaiming and Chelsea were already there. The cake was in the freezer and we waited for everyone to come first. By the time everyone else came, we asked the guy working there , Mus (YES WE MADE FRIENDS WITH HIM TOO HAHA) for a knife, lighter and 10 forks. We gave Junita the cake and she was so cute. The cake was too hard to cut though, so being the typical Baduts we are, we just used forks straight out of the cake. We cut out a piece for Mus first though. After the cake was finished, Mikey and I left for DXO. We went in and found Keith and everyone else, and went to Makansutra to meet Nique and her friends. After that, I went to meet Trish , and then went back to Mikey and clique. We stoned, stoned, stoned then watched a few bands play, including cig sex, then we hung outside till they left, and i joined Trish and clique. We decided to go eat first, and while they ate, Mervyn, Lily and I exchanged jokes. After we ran out of jokes, Alex and Jas popped by for a while to say HELLO. We left burger king then walked outside so they could smoke. I bit Jas and Alex bit me back. I took a picture of it, it's the last picture. Go check it out ;) Then Mr and Mrs Alex left and the rest of us waited for a bus . The bus took about an hour over to come and while waiting, Melissa and I talked about our past, haha. Then, after ranting about our anger over a certain slut who keeps getting my friends in trouble, we joined Mervyn and Lily for a game. I stank at the game, but i still had fun. We reached home club,and i left 20 minutes later. The end.
My mum gives me permission to be home by 1/2 now, if its a party. cool

EEE, so cute, lol

Did i mention cute? I did right?

Party also claire still playing PSP

Smile, Smile and PSP

Mikey can't cook, so she left that for Kaisha to do

She didn't like the flash, so i put it nearer

Rawr

Chelsea, Natalie, Claire and Chaiming

HAHA to this picture

AH, make up and food, awesome combination

Toilet cam whore.

Rachel and the china tour guide people

OMG HES SO CUTE, LETS CUT HIS DICK

now, lets cut him in half

PUSH IT IN

We used forks instead

Mikey is like COME ON GIMME

we all gave some to Junita, cause that's how hard the cake was

The after effect

If Nique was muslim

Bunny's hair!

Meet Lily

Ah yes, the bite mark. It's swollen and hurts like a mother fuck
But i'm used to Alex torturing me. I'll never forget any.
But that's why Alex is awesome =] Don't feel guilty lar!

I found picture in Dong's blog while trying to find another post.
So well, just for laughs (im sorry girlfriend) here.

Yet another Sunday afternoon spent staring at rain, with redbull in my hand.

2008-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

boo.
Im still lazy, like, really really lazy to update.
So im just gonna put in pictures.
If you weren't there, means you suck anyways , so why should i bother updating you on shit.
I'm not in a good mood, can you tell?

D, you screwed my day up, as usual. I mean i thought i'd be used to it by now, but this time, you went too far. I'm sorry for being mad, but really, you went way too far. Maybe I'm being too touchy, wait, i probably am, and I'm sorry.

Deafcon 9

Cause he looks like someone

VISAA

RYAN

Val and Naomi

Val emo, Trish I duno

Trish unglam on purpose

Nita

Val doesn't need to try to be unglam

Trish is awesome sHiZzLe

Cause he's tall and we're normal

They kinda weren't ready, but i like it best when they arent

Showing off the dress i wanted to wear but needed more guts

Camwhoring with that same dress

Ken in the girl's toilet as usual

The girls!

The girls again <3>SCHOOOOOL

Rachel eating in class

Kaisha, a sad loner at the back of the class

Claire, caught in action. Used this picture so only we will understand with what

Chelsea blur

We were being nerds

Ah LiAn WoRxXx

Loving the specs

Rachel happy

I look like a guy

I still look like a guy

Nerds are cooler than you think

She got caught in a fight

I fucking love this picture

What?

She can't see without her specs with no lens

I knew her specs were around somewhere

Two specs, cause i don't like sharing

Fisheye claire

NO I WONT SHARE

Claire happy la,

Starbucks with Val, Mervyn, Trish, Lee, Dan, Alex and Jas
Don't look at me just because I'm good looking

I LOVE CAMERAS LIKE THAT

This doesnt look like singapore

CUUUTEEE COUPLE

HUUUH

Cause i wanted to kiss her badly, so i was looking at her lips

Alex

Lee, Dan and Alex

Look at Alex's hand, They were playing the slapping game

Then Jas against Lee

Lee still won

Alex laugh damn cute

Alex still laughing, and jas is like :D

Lee VS Mervyn

Dan looks interested

Lee won, cause just LOOK at Mervy's hand

HAHAHAHHAHA to Lee's face

Trish is acting unglam again

She's still acting

Dan and Jas

Mervyn's mouth if he continues smoking

Camwhoreee

Cause he's pretty

Dan

After soccer hours with Skid, Aaron, Jolyn, Trish and her friend (cant remember name)

Skid concentrating

Skid got 3rd and Aaron got 2nd

The difference in faces is amusing

Fasten your seatbelts

Alex "I want my CHEEESSEEEBURGER"

I told you, cutest couple. And alex with his red undies

Toilet camwhore.

I like Jolyn.

She's BrOoTaL

Maybe someone should teach them how to wear glasses

He's all "eee"

She's a praying mantis

Alice and Tyra

She couldn't stop laughing

Lee's creation

It looks gross

The bite marks I made (most of which became blueblacks or yellow green marks)

(i feel really bad for this one, it's deep. sorry!)

There's Dong, Jasmine and Alex too, but I don't have pictures

Met Sean, Faizal and Jamal (and two other girls who's names i duno) after FYS

Itchy Head

Jamal, Trish and Sean

After 3 pics, we finally got it right

I'm the only normal one, I apologise

I like how Trish looks here

MJ like girl ah

I really like how Trish looks here

Spasm faces

He pretends to kiss me, I smile cause I'm a nice person

I pretend to kiss him and he goes "eee" how mean .

Jolyn!

Rawr and smiles

Burn his dick

So he prepares to run

And he can't so he turns emo with his hat hair

The girls

From another angle

Faizal is cooler than you cause he has more hands.

Okay, the end. I'm gonna go now cause the bed is calling me. But first, lets define love.
"Love is the feeling I get when I walk in the rain with a balloon in one hand and vodka redbull in the other."
"Love is also the feeling I get when I'm around you cause I feel as happy as i would feel if it was raining and i had balloons and vodka redbull"

Love, heh.

most importantly, since it's midnight,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNITA YOU BADUT. WE LOVE YOU LIKE FUCK AND YOU'RE FINALLY 16 AND LEGAL TO LIKE HAVE SEX, OMG!

2008-01-28T05:50:00.000-08:00

Happy One Month Baby.

<3

p.s. I'll update on my past week soon la, im uber lazy. Anyways, my blog is dead, lol

2008-01-15T18:47:00.000-08:00

Met up with Jolyn, Trish and Val yesterday. Went shopping for a dress.
We turned high cause it was raining. Ah yes, rain.

A woman had a plastic bag over her head cause it was raining
we decided to do that too

There are 3 other videos, but they are too unglam for both Trish and I, so I shall not upload them.

BaDuTzXxX

2008-01-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

Before i start anything. This was the badut's breakfast
I brought it for them (no i didnt pay, they did)
The smell got me high

Okay now let's start

Yesterday was awesome.
My school brought us to sentosa and it was more like a Badut outing for me. The baduts stayed together the whole time, and took loads of group pictures. And for once, we had EVERYONE in the picture, all 12 of us. We started out at the Images of Singapore and I was freaking out. I had a bad history with wax figures. There was one place, where all 12 of us were freaking out, and claire was left behind and i was screaming to go back and everyone ran and it was all so drama. There was another place where the lights kept flickering and the windows shaking, and we all kept screaming, we ran back and forth to see if it was a sensor and screamed everytime. It wasn't the sensor though, it was the movie being played. After the Images of Singapore, we moved to Fort Siloso. We went into one tunnel and it was FUCKING dark so we were looking forward to getting scared at the other tunnels too, but that so didn't happen cause the rest of them was lit up. Then, we went to the retail store to play with the army stuff. Everyone kept laughing at me cause the helmet was WAAAAAAY to big for my head, but I liked it anyway. Then, Jun, Chai and I snuck out to cam whore, and missed the tram back to the gate, so we had to walk.The baduts minus Amal and Jun camwhored with a giant snake, and the snake kissed Claudia and Michaela. Chelsea and Rachel were scared of the snake, it was amusing. After that, we made out way to the Merlion. The Merlion wasn't what i expected it to be, but it would be fucking romantic at night. There was a couple making out on the head of the Merlion, so romantic la. ANYWAYS, we took a group photo and we all put it in our wallets. There was a little drama at the Merlion, and it started raining, so we boarded the bus back to school. After arranging the class desks, we left for home.

After bathing and changing, I left to visit Derrick in the hospital. I was so happy cause i thought i could irritate the hell out of him and make fun of the fact he couldnt talk, since he had his tonsils removed. But that so didn't happen cause he's like superman or something and could talk normally just a few hours after the operation. After an hour or so, I left to meet Rachel,Kaisha,Micky and Junita at Bedok and we took an MRT to city hall to meet Claire. Then we walked to clarke quay. It started raining half way and we were soaked so we played in the rain, and walked slowly to the reverse bungee place. There were 6 of us, so Claire took pictures while the rest of us got ready to go on the extreme swing. I was freaking out, cause im scared of heights. The swing was scary, it went really high, and Junita had to pull something before the swing could move. We were facing down and fucking scared, and Junita was scared to pull the string. It was all drama while everyone forced her to do it, one pull and I felt like i was gonna fall flat on my face, but then the swing when up (like a normal swing does) and my scream of terror changed to screams of "YESSSSS WE DID IT" . The ride ended way too soon though, and I was dying to do it again. We did do it again, cause the guy working there, Chucky (we made friends with them, HAHA) needed 3 more people to go up again, as a couple wanted to do it, and they couldnt go up with only 2 people. Junita,Claire and I went for the 2nd one for free, while Micky and Rachel went for the reverse bungee. Kaisha took pictures this time. Neither one of us wanted to pull the cord, so we asked the couple to do it. I felt braver going up, knowing what was gonna happen, but Chuck kept being mean and not helping me buckle up. He talked like he was gonna let us go, and i was no where near buckled up. After screaming at him, he finally got me safely buckled and we went for our 2nd ride. My so-called-bravery got lost 3/4 of the way up, when I had visions of falling flat on my face. Junita was scared too, but once again, after the cord was let go , we screamed and didn't regret going up again. After our 2nd ride, we thanked the guys working there for everything and left to eat at Long Johns. We took 197 home, and we were damn high in the bus. I reached home at 11 30, whoops.

Pictures from Images of Singapore.

Baduts + Mr Lim

Baduts!!

Baduts again, and Jun owes EVERYONE a wack.

We're pulling the load up, and Jun is acting tired

I was pulling them on the Trishaw.

Then Claudia pulled them

Old school radio.

Chaiming for sale.

Dont know HOW claire did it

OUR NATION IS BORN!

Effing love this picture

And people wonder why I was scared

Old school buildings

HAHA JUN

I'm like HUUUUUUUH

I sell tea for a living

The chinese heritage

I told them I haven't finish take the picture yet, and left them kneeling there

EH AH CHEK. 2 TEH OH

Zakiah's family

Only Arina will be like that

SINGAPORE NOW!

Playing with the mini cars

Arina again

Im like OI FASTER

Pictures from Fort Siloso

Siloso actually means "A jealous person" in filipino

Claire was acting like she got shot

The butterfly no one else could see

Me, Jun and Micky

I'm so getting a camera like that

She's crazy

Tram rideee

My ex boyfriend. We still talk.

They were TRAPPED

They tried to lock me in.

My brother "What is she doing, climbing the ladder of sucess?"WHATEVER

PRETTY VIEW

Claire littering - caught red handed

Going up the stairs

Nice nice stairs

They started the meeting without us!

Acting emo abit, cause the background says hunger/overcrowding and disease

Then we all act emo

Junita looks sad

The helmet was too big!

They didn't help the fact i looked stupid.

IT WAS OKAY FOR AMAL!

Me, Jun and the cleaning lady

I look crazy

This is why we were late.

Sick bay.

The gate couldn't close

WELCOME TO FORT SILOSO

WHAT! THE SIGN SAID 7 INCHES!

The big gun.

I was too short la.

She was too

So she also jumped

I was asking it to shoot me, but it didn't want to

Catching skittles. (I was wearing shorts, don't worry)

I caught SOME

We missed the tram

So we took more pictures

And a few more

Then we walked back to the gate

Meet the snake

It kissed claudia

Then micky, how lucky is that snake?

HAHAHAHA RACHEL

I love that snake

I really love the snake

Claudia loved it a bit too much though

10 of us. Junita and Amal wasn't there

ISN'T IT CUTE

The butterfly.

Pictures from Merlion

Arina was sitting there and the water splashed on her

MUS IS AWESOME

The waterfall

The Merlion

UV light

Pictures from the Hospital

He's crazy. Throat operation and talking on the phone

His gross toe

Brotherly love

We were bored la

Told you he's crazy

He liked the tube

Pictures from at NIGHT

MRT

Candy cane ; Still in the xmas mood la

Smile for the camera

We're dancing in the rain~

Micky was still dancing

Micky is damn hot

Take me for a walk in the pouring rain and kiss me

We didn't plan to pose like that

Way too shakey hands

On the way home

I think it sucks, how when I was going through a rough time, I didn't even know who to call anymore. I didn't know who to talk to, who could help me get through it.
I still don't.

School

2008-01-10T19:42:00.000-08:00

School was alright. 10ish hours of school was torture, but being surrounded by the baduts and the fact that I had friends messaging me helped, alot. The coach pretty much left us be the whole time, so that was good too. The first day was fun, we played games and even though the coach kept asking us to split up, we never did.
But the talking was torture, and sitting down so long was as well, so the next day, we came prepared.
Rachel even brought a pillow, which Chelsea pretty much borrowed the whole time. We played with eyelash curlers and got high on ice cream, but the thing which i'll never forget is when we all tried playing with ice creams.

First, it was just Junita,Chaiming, Rachel and I. We tried seeing who could leave the ice cream in our mouths the longest, and it was dripping everywhere and it was gross. Then we had a contest to see who could deep throat the ice cream most, HAHA, i won when it was just us 4.
Then, i dropped my ice cream so I offered to buy everyone some. Once everyone got one, we played the deep throat game again.
Claire put the whole fucking ice cream in her mouth, and her face became red. We thought it was normal, cause i mean, it is the WHOLE ice cream. Then we laughed like shit, but when she took the ice cream out, (OMG IM STILL LAUGHING ABOUT THIS) only HALF was on the stick. What happened was, the ice cream broke off in her throat, and she was choking on it. WTF RIGHT, so finally she coughed it out or something, and everything was fine. I don't know how she did it, cause i was crying of laughter. I mean, I was laughing at the fact she could put the whole thing in her mouth, then cause she turned red, so you can imagine my shock when only half the ice cream came out, it was so amusing.
It's not something I intend to forget soon.

The reproductive system

Horny Katong Convent Girls, TSK

We had to build the tallest house of cards, using only two items, and it shouldnt fall when blown at. Almost everyone won, this group's did too

This is ours, ause we are cool.

It didn't fall, and this is the first ever badut 12 picture, where all 12 are here
Kaisha and our coach

Junita, Amal, Arina, Me and Chaiming

MICKY DAMN CUTEE

Don't play with rachel, she'll throw green tea

Arina

Rachel's work of art on my leg.

Make up bag

Make up lessons

Curling eyelashes

Meet Micky

Claire drinks

Claire listens

Claire camwhores

The pillow

She actually used it

Micky used me as a pillow

They fought over the coach's mic during break

I love Rachel's camera

I told you, they fought

Rachel speaks in it

Then junita

Don't mess with us

Everyone seem's to have realised a change.
Well, i realise it's coming

trish/mj/faizal mostly

2008-01-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

I've never met 3 other people who made me laugh as much as the people I spent my most of my weekend with.

Friday

After school, I went home to change and met Trish. Then, we met up with Faizal and Jamal at taka (i think) After giggling like a crazy woman, we went to our house in the wall. We closed the doors and opened the windows. Then, we saw Nita and she totally walked into our house without pressing the doorbell. WTF right, tsk. Anyways, then we went our seperate ways. Trish and I made our way to Bunny's Party. We stopped at a random MRT station to wait for Mr Zach for ONE HOUR. Then, we went on to meet everyone else. Then at lian's place Trish got drunk. it was cute. She fell down on her arse and on the way down the stairs, her butt was flashed to everyone and I couldn't stop laughing. In the cab, I talked to Sarah. I think we're okay now, right? I reached home an hour late, and thats the end of that.

Saturday

I can't remember what happened on Saturday OMG. Junita,Rachel,Kaisha,Claire and I were suppose to do our English Holiday Homework, but Jun,Kai and Claire pretty much ditched ( i mean it in the nicest way possible) so Chel and I went to meet Sarah Foo. Sarah lost alot of weight, she's so hot now. I bought a new wallet "Get your own wallet you bitch" and went on to meet 9 O'clock. It was raining like shit and I reached the recording studio drenched, but it's fine cause it was cooling. Then, we ate PRATAAA and they took random band photos. They made me laugh so much, i couldn't even stand up properly. After the random band photos, Trish went to get her school shoes, some shit happened and I went home.

Sunday

I took bus 14 to Queenstown to meet Trish. I realised I missed the stop so I got off and crossed the road, then i looked at the sign and realised WTF I DIDNT MISS THE STOP, so i just gave up and took a cab. We bought new tongue studs and ate macs, then went to Pasir Ris to meet Mervyn, MJ and Faizal. MJ had to made a new EZLINK card then we went to my house. Mervyn left after like 15 minutes, and Trish, MJ and Faizal stayed on till 8ish. We danced and sang and just acted stupid. Those three are my personal red bulls. I don't need red bull when I'm around them, they get me high without it. I loveeeee that.

PICTURES FROM SUNDAY.

She got the tongue stud I wanted. The middle one

JAMAL / MJ, he's crazy

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

Trish is cool.

Mj happy only.

And that's why he's happy. They are GhEyYy

Then MJ went for the monkey and the bear went for Trish

The bear lucky ah

Faizal is crazy. MJ is too

This looks wrong, yes it does

I blocked Faizal and OMG LOOK AT MJ

I look like a idiot, Faizal looks cool, MJ looks insane and Trish is all HiPh0P

Unglam to the max. AND once again, OMG TO MJ

¤` faizal k. says:
WELL,...YA'LL BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE ME FAIZAL GONNA ROCK THE HIP HOP COMPETITION DOWN YEAOYOYO
¤` faizal k. says:
*handstand*

Faizal - 007 , Me -Nerd wannabe Mj-I dont even know, Trish - Bug eyes

This picture makes me laugh, I don't know why

I realise that we've barely been friends, but the fact that you were there helped
Go our seperate ways? I don't know how I'm gonna take it.

boredem kills

2008-01-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

I GOT THIS FROM TRISH'S BLOG
im bored you see. Waiting for either Faizal or Jamal (HAHA) to come online

In 2007, I...
[x] stayed single
[ ] cheated on someone
[x] been kissed
[x] kissed someone new
[x] made out
[x] made out in a car
[x] kissed in the rain
[x] fell in love
[x] fell in love with a fool
[x] had my heart broken
[x] broke someone else's heart
[ ] had a stalker
[ ] questioned my sexual orientation
[ ] got pregnant
[ ] had an abortion
[ ] got married
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] met someone that I will never forget
[x] kissed under the mistletoe
[ ] got a job
[ ] got straight A's
[x] failed a class
[x] cut class
[x] skipped school
[x] did something I was proud of
[x] embarrassed myself /gazillion times
[ ] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[x] painted a picture
[ ] ran a mile
[x] listened to music I couldnt stand
[ ] double dipped
[ ] skinny dipped
[x] went to a sleepover
[x] went to a camp
[x] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried
[x] flirted shamelessly
[x] visited a foreign country
[ ] visited a foreign state
[x] cooked a disastrous meal
[x] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[x] tried to lose weight
[ ] dyed my hair
[x] smoked
[x] came close to losing my life
[x] went to a wild party
[ ] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[x] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[x] saw a favorite band live
[x] did something that I wanted to tell everyone
[x] experienced something new
[x] kissed a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[x] made new friends
[x] lied to your parents
[x] snuck out
[ ] got in trouble with police
[x] kissed in a pool
[x] kissed under the stars
[x] stole
[x] had the time of your life
[x] performed [KINDA]
[x] fell out of love
[x] had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool
[x] held someones hand that you didnt care about
[x] held someones hand that you care about
[ ] got caught for something illegal
[x] told someone you like them as more than a friend
[x] gone on vacation
[ ] gone on vacation with a friend
[ ] witnessed a loved one die [or maybe i did but cant remember]
[ ] played strip poker
[x] danced in the rain
[x] seen someone get in a car accident
[x] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[x] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone so badly you just cried
[ ] got hit by car
[ ] sent someone to the hospital
[x] got a new pet
[x] am glad 2007 year is over

WOOHOO, i'll update about today tomorrow. I'm so lazy. But I had the most fun ever. I don't believe I ever laughed so much before. You guys are awesome <3

TRISHY MUFFIN

2008-01-05T21:32:00.000-08:00

You know Trish, I don't think I've helped much with anything cause I love everyone. But the thing is, the most important is you being happy and that's all that I care about. I'm sorry for being no help whatsoever. Just please, don't be sad. I can't bear to see you sad.

Baby, the thought of you is the reason I smile while listening to those fucking cheesy cliche love songs.
The only one who for some reason, makes me smile at the weirdest times. Even last night, when I was listening to sad songs, I couldn't cry. Even during the song I ALWAYS cry to. Cause you truly do make me actually HAPPY.
Yeah, I cried, but not cause of the song. Does that make sense? Probably doesnt.

rah.

2008-01-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

I guess things don't always go according to plan.
There's no point in making plans, cause they always get screwed
No Claire, this isn't about you, thought I'm not happy about that either.
It's life itself.
You see things as perfect, and the next day it's all shit.
Just yesterday, I realised something.
All this time, I've been making sure things go my way.
Making sure nothing goes out of line, and all this time, it's been a waste of breath.
What the fuck is "my way" anyway.
The plans to lie to everyone, to hang with you guys was screwed cause of D.
Then the plan to reach home way before 11 was screwed cause I just didn't wanna leave.
My plan of sneaking in so I won't get wacked like a fucker didn't work either.
Time to take life as it comes la ah.

Trish, thank's for being there for me. When i was highish, and when i was perfectly normal.
You sat through my sobbing, and hyperness, and it's not something many people would do.
Thank you. I mean it.

I've lost a few friends, but gained another bestie.
I've made more enemies, but gained a love.
I lost my bestie, but hey, he's being stupid, and i'm not gona feel sad about it.

Also, boyfriend : I'm sorry for being so stupid larXxXx. I really am. I love you =]

"Our fear of loneliness is the very foundation we build our lives on. The good deeds we do for others, the dreams we strive to achieve, the times we go out with friends, the jokes we make, the kindness we show; everything stems from the fact that, as human beings, we don't want to be forgotten, we don't want to be alone, we don't want to be lonely. We want acceptance and respect, recognition of our existence and value as a person.

Think of it this way. When you lend a friend a listening ear, there is a part of you who does it because you're hoping that in time, because of the kindness you show to them now, they will return the favour in your time of desperation and angst. It is an investment of effort which we hope will reap emotional returns. Most of us would deny it, saying that we're just showing love for the people that matter in our lives. But you see, the very people that matter in our lives are kept close at hand because we fear losing them. Very much like share holders in a big corporate company, these loved ones are our emotional share holders. Our life's validation." - Levan

2008-01-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

I guess what people say are true
Don't trust anyone too much.
I never believed that, I believed there was good in everyone, and trust should be given, so trust will be recieved.
I told you things, not exactly secrets, but not things the whole world knew either. That is, until you opened your big mouth.

I refuse to go back to my old lifestyle, the one where i dont trust anyone and keep to myself, but repeatedly my trust gets betrayed, and friendships lost just cause people suddenly dont feel like being my friend.
I'm gonna repeat the post I uh, posted at one point of time. Don't forget this, cause i still feel this way.

"Will you stick with me throught whatever?
Will you be there for me when my world begins to fall?
Will you be here, with me, forever?

What if i need you when we fight, would you still be here?
Are you going to say yes but not really mean it?
Don't say yes cause there isn't such a thing as forever.
We won't be friends forever and we won't always get along.
People get replaced and forgotten, and as much as i don't want that, i know it'll happen.
But right now, while we are still young and you are fresh in my mind, i don't want to fight
I want you to be my bestie for as long as possible, until i leave to England for uni (if i get that far) and maybe even after
I know it MAY NOT come true, but we can try.
We can fight to be friends.
The possibilites are endless.

Darling, i don't want us to fight,
i know i have been too caught up with everything but you know i love you more than anything .
I love you more than ANYONE.
Your my first priority and i'll run to jurong if needed, even if it means RUNNING cause u know i dont run.
always in my mind, and in my heart. There isn't a day that i dont sleep without thinking i wonder what my bestie is doing now.'
Not now when we have a chance, not now since we are still in touch,

Don't count on anyone but yourself cause friends fight, boyfriends break up (I hope not though ;] ), and family, well, just dont understand.But your more than just a friend, your my best friend and my life. I count on you more than i count on myself.I give up alot on myself but you havent given up on me.I love you bestie, i really do."

Mum is leaving for Thailand again tomorrow. I'll be home with Corrie and Derrick. Corrie has work and Derrick has army, hello much neeeded alone time.

2008-01-02T08:58:00.000-08:00

anthony
Posted
01/1/2008 11:15 pm
Not bein mean or anything , but i hate youre hair :)

I find that amusing. The fact that he, plus many others, felt the need to tell me that.
Him of all people, after the 2 years, blah
ANYWAYS

i have a fucking sore throat and I'm dying
Help me.
How to get rid of it?

I fucking thought I could trust you. I can't believe you said that behind my back. What the fuck is wrong with you.

NEW YEAR BITCH

2008-01-01T14:52:00.000-08:00

New year's was awesome. Police raids, Puking, Crying, Shouting. For me, it was less crazy than that. My countdown was in the toilet with Trish, and I'm not complaining. I RAN out to watch fireworks with Pre and Evan and went on to wish Cig Sex and friends a happy new year. I'm so glad I started the new year with my friends and boyfriend.
Sure, there were a few bumps here and there, like the lack of taxis and the drunk friends, but the fact I love the people around me helped.
Finally, at 3 plus, I reached home. Tim, Pre, Evan and Nita were already there, and Jolyn and I went up. Shaun dropped us off and took the cab home, and he was such a gentleman, he didn't allow us to pay. Everyone fell asleep so Tim and I watched tv. Soon, Skid, Mervyn,Trish and Lily came over. Before I knew it, it was 6 am. I can't think of any details right now cause I'm fucking tired, but all i know is I had fun

Baby, thank's for assuring me I made the right choice in trusting you with my heart.
Sure I'm a LITTLE scared, but hey, that's normal for me.
No wait, it's not. Normally I'm FREAKING scared, so the fact that I'm only a little scared, is a great improvement.
Just to let you know, I love you =]

you <3

2007-12-30T19:30:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how fast one can fall so fast.
This "Started" on christmas and already I've fallen so deep
Truthfully, I would've never seen us like this, cause , well, you know how i felt.
But I really am glad we are what we are now.
You're already special to me, I mean hey, I cooked for you ;)

But I'm not ready to get my heart broken. Promise you'll take care of it. It's scary, trusting a guy with my heart again. But it's so hard not to trust you. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not scared though. But then again, you know that.

Please, keep your promise.

MY PERFECT GIRL

2007-12-28T13:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, list for a perfect girl lololol

She must dance for me, cause dancing is cool.
She must have curly hair, with just a little highlights
She must eat pizza AND macs at the same time.
She must try to eat pizza hut , macs AND canadian pizza at the same time, but fail
She must use or have used a wheelchair
She must stay at block 516 Bedok North Ave 2.
She must like the same kinda music as me, except without the emo shit.
Her name must start with I
Her name must end with the same letter as mine.
She must also go crazy at the sound of "I remember you" or any songs that i'd go crazy for to
She must be awesome
She must call me by my last name
She must be someone i can be myself around
She must fart openly (HAHA)
She can be as gross as possible, cause that means i can too.
She will tell me what i dont want to hear, just cause it's the fucking truth.
She must be introduced to me by Lerps.
She must also have burnt hair at one point of time
She must also be fucking lame
Most importantly, she must sound like she swallowed a microphone (fucking loud)
She will make the most noise in a polyclinic, when we're suppose to be faking sick.
She must have braces (for now)
She must look FUCKING CUTE in a tudong
She must be one of the best friends i have ever had.

Do you know anyone like that?
Let me know aye? ;)

Teardrops on my guitar

2007-12-27T06:06:00.000-08:00

Christmas was spent stoning. Dinner came and he was there so my mood was totally spoilt. At 9, i left for home club to meet up with the rest. I hung outside with them for a while then at 1 15, Nita, Ryan, Jolyn and Timothy came over while the rest went over to Lian's place. THEY cooked food and heated some ham up then went upstairs. We spent the night in the balcony getting high, talking and other stuff.
At 7:30, Timothy went home to sleep and after he left i fell asleep on the couch,but was woken up very soon after. Mervyn came around 9 45 and he acted stupid with toilet paper for a while. We went to Macs to eat and went back cause Sharmila was at my place. We hung upstairs, talking till 3 20, when Mervy had to leave to meet Zyun. Ryan wanted to leave too but just then, Visa called so Ryan invited him over. When Visa came, we sat around and played truth or dare. Questions like "What's your wildest fantasy" , "What's the most you've done" and even retarded stuff like "Have you ever had gay tendencies" . Dares started out innocent but it got boring so i kept making them weird. Started out with things like "Shout at a stranger "I wanna fuck your dog in the ass" and "pretend to do it doggy style with him" and ended with things like "Deep throat his finger" and "lick his/her nipples" or plain making out. There were stuff like "put your hand down his pants" too. It was really funny.
Anyways, around 9, Nita was the only one left and by 10, she was gone. I fell asleep while she was using the com but after she left, i couldn't go back to sleep and here i am now, updating at 5 50 am.

Pictures

Damn cute couple

Nita pierced her tongue

Slacking

I look greedy for the JD coke.

Meet Timothy

Camwhoring

I like the smoke

Damn cute

He died

I was DAMN tired

He really liked my bear

Turban

Did I mention cute?

Turban-ator

Camwhoring in macs

That's how she looks at Ryan

Pictures from when Visa came will be uploaded later. I'm lazy to upload them now.

Perfect ending to Christmas and perfect starting to Boxing day.

xmas

2007-12-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

Thanks alot Tim, lol

Okay you guys, admit it. A GAY CHINA MAN, cant get any scarier than that.

merrychristmasbitches.

2007-12-23T22:01:00.000-08:00

Time has run out, for me.
Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.
It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.
And I need to leave, for a while.
Life is so meaningless, there is nothing worth a smile.
So goodbye, I'll miss you.

And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.

It's been the years, of abuse.
Neglected to treat the dissorder,
That controls my youth, for so long.
I'm in a fleshy tomb, burried up above the ground.
It's no use, why should I hold on?
It's been five years, don't need one more.
So goodbye, life's abuse.

And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears

<33

DEAFCON8

2007-12-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Deafcon was pretty entertaining this year.
The day started with breakfast (or was it lunch since everyone came late?) at Iylia's place. We ordered pizzahut AND macdonalds. Iylia wanted to order from canadian pizza TOO, but they have a minimum order, ugh. Well, Iylia broke her back or some weird thing like that so she had to be on a wheelchair, but once in a while she'll walk to the toilet, and reminded me LOADS of the hunchback of whatever. I know it's mean , but I couldn't help giggling. IM SORRY IYLIA!
GET WELL SOON DARLS.
Well, at about 2 15, Jolyn and I left for Deafcon. We cabbed there and was just in time for Withered Tree, or something like that. They were pretty good, though the crowd was quite tame. Then I went out, and came back in just in time for Cig Sex. The sound system was kinda screwed, and at one point they had to borrow another person's guitar, but they made up for it well really, and I'm not being biased cause i have no need to. After cig sex was firebrands, who was amazing as always, then Bad Ob. They played sweet child of mine (so did Cig Sex) and we went crazy. GnR always makes us go crazy, lol. I also realised if there was ever a fight, get Gordon to kick, cause his boots are pointy. Okay sorry lame, after Bad Ob, a few things screwed up , and we walked out and drank red bull. Val smoked her first SKL and drank 2 + redbulls and got amazingly high. Worst than high, she got drunk, which is weird cause redbull cant get you drunk, but okay. I took unglam pictures of her, and we sat outside for a while, then went on to eat.

Makansutra was really crowded (it was raining and the boys didnt wanna get wet ) so we moved to the kopitiam, we got a long line of tables and sat and ate. Then Visa and Ryan started singing and I was getting REALLLY entertained. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I got really hyper and started saying the wrong things. Like instead of saying "Deafcon 9 wear white!" i said "DEAFCON WHITE!" and giggled like a maniac. Then i wanted to say "deafcon 10 wear red" and i said "deafcon 10 wear bread" . It was really embarassing. Then i sneezed and it got worst. Cig Sex and Elsa (i think thats how you spell it) came over, and then we left. Mervy, Trish, and everyone went drinking at Orchard, and Tim, Nita, Visa, Ryan, Prabs and I left for home. On the way out, everyone kept tickling me and making fun of my laugh. I got forced to take a MRT and i was so scared my dad would kill me, cause I was supose to take a cab home straight, but I just didnt tell him and kept the change, heh. Ryan, Prabs and Visa were making fun of me (kinda) in the MRT, but it was fun anyways.

PICTURE TIME.

Iylias house

Jolyn looks damn happy.

Her first time on a wheelchair,

I think this picture is REALLY amusing

Sharmila looks glam, in a wheelchair.

Until this picture comes up.

DEAFCON

The girls minus Trish and Bianca

She's SOO hot, and has a nice ass =]

We seem to not be able to take glam pics together

Toilet camwhores <3

This picture would look unglam on anyone else, but not her.

HAHAHAH VAL HAHAHAHAH

I like this pic.

She got high and hugged the tree

Then Jolyn makes use of her highness

Then bianca does too

He slapped me for looking like gerad way

Trish<3

So Dong makes use of the situation too

He still can be emo!

CHICKS RULE

AH YES, THE UNGLAMOUR,

He said I look innocent, I always am right?

Now line up ! Shortest to tallest people!

Blur.

I feel so short =[

My tongue is NOTHING compared to theirs

HAHAHA to her face

And they so totally cut me out.

I like this picture for some reason.

Awesome couple

She's mine

The chicks !

HES TWOTIMING VISA

The group

It's like looking in the mirror

They were doing a handshake.

Then they started singing

Hairband

Sad face.

0.o

Fucking tall!

Remember girls, shake well before each use!

Toilet camwhores again

Then everyone started joining

That's not EITHER of our hands

Lastly, Tim joined

Okay so I cheated and stood an escalator step higher

P.S. CLAIRE I MISS YOU SO MUCH

2007-12-20T00:43:00.000-08:00

Kaisha and I are trying to do our geog project, but totally failing cause we forgot what we're suppose to do. So bow down to us for we are awesome.

RAWR

p.s. i got me an ipod touch, woo.

2007-12-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

Did i mention ziyang is talented?

He is, really

MATT TORTURE 101

2007-12-13T05:14:00.000-08:00

Its 4 am. I woke up at 2 45 and cant go back to sleep. The girls arent awake, but im talking to Tim and Ziyang. Tim is bathing now (he stinks, literally) , and Ziyang is extremely entertaining.
Girls, i told you i'll wake up didn't I?
Oh well, you all are LOVE.

The holiday is playing on TV, i love this movie. I love how it ends with the girl telling her ex boyfriend (who refuses to totally leave her life so its impossible to forget him, which is awesome for him but fucked for her) to fuck off , and that she deserves so much better. And gets so much better. One of my all time fav movies.

Ehkimek, cant wait to go home

Bacon Spank

Lard coated bullets

Babi Rampage

Matcrusher chua.

Come on, he IS talented.

2007-12-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been thinking alot about you. I dont know why i'm writing this really, cause i doubt that you can read this, being up there. But when I was 9, and we talked about death. I remember joking to you and saying "I bet even when we're old and you're dead, You'll still be giving me advice on how to live my life" and you said "I will, yeah. Cause i'll make sure you know you're never alone. I don't ever wanna leave you alone, you're my best friend". I'm not old yet, but you're still gone. And I guess you took what we said that day seriously. Cause with all the shit going on, I've been getting dreams of you more often. Dreams of If Jake was still alive he'll tell me and stuff like that. You'll be 20 now, and probably would have gone through loads, and would have lots of advice to tell me. And dreams of you being alive and giving me advice really helps me, cause you know I only listen to you .
I remember my mum joking when I was 11, saying that I was in love with you, cause I only listened to what you said. And I laughed and said that's stupid, though I did.
You know, after you went up there, everyone kept telling me it's normal to go through the "if only"s, and yeah, i still do.
I imagine what life would be like, if you hadn't had what you had. And what you would've told me, if i had said yes to being your girlfriend. I go through only one "if only" though, and that is "if only i had said yes straight away, and not waited"
You see, If i had answered straight away, you would've gone to surgery knowing I loved you. And even though you probably still would'nt have made it, I can't seem to stop and think that would've helped. If I had answered straight away, i wouldn't have to go through the trauma of calling your handphone, only to have your sister pick up, and tell me you can't come to the phone, cause there was some complication during the surgery. I wouldnt have giggled and say come on stop playing around and she wouldnt have burst into tears and tell me you've gone. For good.
Loosing you really made me see things in a different light. I became a loner in Primary 5 for a while, not talking to anyone, and spending my life locked in my room. I miss you soo much Jake, i do.
But worst of all, i feel like shit for what we talked about when I was in Primary 4. I was in your arms, crying like a retard, cause my best friend killed herself as she was too scared to go through surgery for her lukemia. I cried so bad, and you told me it'll be better. I screamed of how i hated people who had lukemia, and how stupid everything was. You silently took it and still hugged me. You didn't give me a sign. Until now, I don't understand why you didn't tell me you had lukemia. I feel so bad, shouting at how much i hated people with lukemia, when you had it. When you just got back from your checkup.
It's been 4 years since you left me alone, 4 years since i last heard you sing to me on the phone. But i'll never forget you.

After all, you were the first guy i ever got ป่วยด้วยโรครัก over.
The first, and only one i got that ป่วยด้วยโรครัก over.

Yesterday was full of tears,
knowing death has just been here
All was lost but not forgot,
the pain controls my every thought
A new day's battle has begun,
all was lost and nothing's won
I can't wait to see the day,
when the tears all go away....

I miss you, I kissed you,
when we layed you in your grave
I need you to believe you,
things were meant to be this way...

Today came with shattered dreams,
everything's not what it seems
Don't think death won't come get you,
cause it will life's misconstrued
Though my battle's just begun,
I'm dropping arms and going to run
I can't wait to see the day,
when these painful tears all go away....

I miss you, I kissed you,
when we layed you in your grave
I need you to believe you,
things were meant to be this way...
I miss you, I kissed you,
when we layed you in your grave
I need you to believe you, things were meant to be this way...

I did nothing at all, it's all my fault your gone
Your face on my wall, it tells it all, you will live on...

to you

2007-12-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

State the obvious, I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn

Run your mouth when I'm not around
It's easy to achieve
You cry to weak friends that sympathize
Can you hear the violins playing you song?
Those same friends tell me your every word

You can't be something you're not.Be yourself, by yourself

P.s. Ziyang , you better meet me when i get back or I'm burning your house. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

2007-12-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

VALERIE YOU 16 YEAR OLD

comeonlinenow
so you can make a spell to make S L come online

Hickory Dickory And just a little dock
He'll come online now or he'll turn into a sock

ITS NOT WORKING
anyways, hope youre having fun in Malacca and happy belated birthday my love

ah yes

2007-11-27T02:26:00.000-08:00

When you remember how hard it is to change yourself, you begin to understand what little chance we have of changing others.

It's official, i know there's no point trying anymore. That it's best i give up on the thought of us again. Like i said, if you ever want me back, i probably will come back , but hate myself for being so easy. But, sometimes time heals wounds, and if you ask me back by the time my wound is healed, why should we try again and leave me with another wound deeper??

Why am I thinking about the future? lol
I'm sick of going to your blog, your friendster, your myspace, your MSN nick and PM to see any sign of your feelings for me whatsoever. Most of all I'm sick of not seeing anything, and getting disappointed at myself for even believing there would be one. I'm sick of feeling disappointed at you and myself at a daily basis. I'm sick of being so stupid and believing you'll come back to me, staying vulnerable the whole time. I'm sick of searching every nook and cranny to find any proof that you love me, and getting mad at myself for wasting my time cause I knew from the beginning there won't be anythin. Sick of always getting mad at myself for being stupid and sick of crying everytime I meet you, cause I get disappointed cause i expected so much more, cause you're the same guy i was in love with on MSN ONLY. You know when I'm vulnerable, and seem to always strike. You're just so sweet to me when you want to be, and so mean the next. I'm sick of crying everytime we talk about us, especially since it's a waste of tears cause nothing is ever going to happen. I'm going to treat you how you treat me now. I'm going to talk to you how you talk to me, and I'm going to be as emotionless as you are. And who knows, maybe someday those emotions I hide will actually leave me, and i'll be free to love someone else without being called cheap for loving two guys. Everyone is right, I was stupid to believe you were going to give me another chance. You're right, I expected too much, and now i expect nothing at all. I give up expecting anything from you.

But for now, I'm over you, i think
And it's amazing, my eyes didn't even tear while writing this

2007-11-26T22:55:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't say i've gotten over you really
More like i've gotten over trying to get you to change your mind.

The first weekend

2007-11-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

Well, this weekend was pretty fine. We went over to the bridge over river kwai for some ceremony where you light a candel and joss sticks and float it down the river. For all of you who don't know, the bridge over river kwai was where the Japanese forced the prisoners of war to build a railway so they can travel easier. Prisoners of war being the English, Australians, Dutch, German and a few Americans. It was quite a sad affair really, cause with every kilometer of track built, 38 of those POWs died. Anyways, so the first night we just arrived, shopped a while, walked over the bridge, did the ceremony and checked in to our bunglow thingy.

I fell asleep at 10, and woke up at 2, screaming at my parents for sleeping so late, until i realised it was 2 am, that was embarassing. So i went back to sleep and woke up again at 7, where we left for our boat tour. There was big ass boats everywhere that looked like floating houses, and everyone inside was dancing, in each boat. It was so hilarious. Anyways, our first stop was the War Cemetary. I normally feel very weird at cemetaries, since you know, dead guys. But i felt so sad looking at the tombstones, the ages were 20ish and stuff, they were so young! And tortured by those sushi lovers, blah. The next stop was a cave, which was really high up and I was dying, while walking up there. Our tour guide for the cave was this young boy and he was so sweet, he held us at the steep parts. Next was the JEATH war muesum, and that was the most saddest stop of the day. The muesum was filled with letters, pictures, articles written by the prisoners of war, and the saddest was the fact that the japansese were horrible when it came to punishing them. The beat a British mans hand to pulp, just because he tried to steal food cause he was starving. On a daily basis they will put a bucket around their neck, filled with water and stones , so that after a few hours the people's neck will get pain and their head will fall in the jagged areas of the rocks. That will be followed by a beating, which often results in serious injuries or death.

After that, we left river kwai to go to Erawan waterfall , which was like effing high up, 600 M high up we walked, and were too lazy to walk the other 410M. it was tiring okay! The waterfall was amazing, and the water was freezing. We gave up and went back to the car and drove on to the Safari Park . It was a open place, so they animals were roaming around and we couldnt leave our cars. I fed the zebras and giraffes and some random animal slobbered on our window, it was sick. The zebras kept sticking their head in more, and it was kinda scary.

Then we had a 4 hour ride back home, and now I'm here.
The end, here are pictures

First night

The bridge over River Kwai built by the POWs

Outside our so called bunglow

My mummy and daddy

Me and my daddy

The offerings to the souls who died building the railway

2nd day

The boat trip

Meet my daddy

My parents

The graveyard

It's nice

My dad was peeking

The cave

Nice scenary

The party boats

I don't know what that white thingy is, but it looks nice

The proper picture What the POW's had to go through, their punishments

The problems they went through

A painting of a POW

Skin problems

Damn cute house

Looks damn nice

Memorial

My mum was tired

My dad was rocking out on the drums

"woaa, crouching tiger hidden dragon"

Lazy Lion

Greedy crazy zebra

I FED A GIRAFFE

I PETTED A GIRAFFE

Crazy giraffes sticking their heads all everywhere

It's 3:30 in Thailand

2007-11-24T03:34:00.000-08:00

Its 3:30 and i can't sleep.
Only Val is online, considering its 4:30 over there.
Thankful i have her though, i miss E sleepovers.

Oh and for the record, i have never been so god damn possesive over anything in my life. It's scary

Valerie says

2007-11-23T22:45:00.000-08:00

{ !!Val,, } "never say hello if you really mean goodbye" says:
MEN ARE MESSED UP CREATURES

I agree 100%. No exceptions, no one at all.
Not Ziyang, not Sean , not David, no one.
All men are messed up.
It's amazing how a guy can act so cold to you one minute, and so nice the next, then cold again.
They expect us to be there, all the time, waiting on them.
Expect us to cry when they're cold, smile when they're nice and cry again when they're cold
I'm not talking about anyone in general really, it's just what i've noticed from alot of guys.
Right now, almost all the guys i know are in the cold stage, ALMOST.
I'm sick of always wondering what they're problem it, wondering what I did wrong to make them mad. Cause before I apologise or even get what i did wrong, they're back to their nice selves. So i just learned to accept that that's the way guys are.
Is it so wrong to want to be loved?
Is it so wrong to have intatuations?
Is it wrong to love?
I'm blabbing i'm sorry. I'm not going to be online tomorrow night, most probably, cause we're going to the west of Thailand for a ceremony.
Which brings me on to the question i've been thinking of, If you had a chance to make a wish, just one wish, what would it be?
I know my wish.

P.S I miss all of you

It's amazing how a small thing like not being on your top friends list, can hurt so much
I tried taking you out of mine, and I got amazed once again how much it hurt to open myspace and not see your face in the list.
I guess you don't feel that way, since I'm not in yours.
Like I said, it's amazing how much such a small thing can hurt in such a big way

Chua

2007-11-23T02:06:00.001-08:00

Ziyang says:
ziyangs are grossly underrated
Ziyang says:
adopt a ziyang today
Ziyang says:
and enjoy the benefits of having your very own ziyang
Ziyang says:
claire did

So yeah, anyone wana adopt a ziyang?
I wana adopt someone else, and claire later say i copy her, if i adopt one
But ya'll can adopt one, so get one today
=]]

Its 2:08, god save me.
Thats 3:08 in singapore

Butch hair, here are pictures
=]
I'm not a butch, i like GUYS

Meaningful chain letter

2007-11-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you ?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid, afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? ( even if it is that you don't care anymore)

What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?

People live, but people die. I want to tell you that
you are a friend.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)

you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

Old post

2007-11-21T08:17:00.000-08:00

I was thinking..

What would it be like to be a ghost? To be the reverse of what i am, dead in body rather than dead in soul. To be invisible rather than constantly in the public eye.
Oh, and by the way,

They say if you lost something, you’ve got to let it go.
And if it comes back, then it means so much more.
But if it never does, at least you will know,
That it was something you had to go through to grow

B, i know you're online, unblock me

2007-11-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

So much has been going on, though i've been home.
I treasure the time i have to think.
I've tried, i really have, to seem normal
But you dont seem to want to talk so I'm just saying Kimek (you probably don't know what that is) and wait for you to come around
I'm tired of being the one that's trying so hard to make this friendship work, when you're not doing anything
You claim you still wanna be friends, though i said no to being the "OTHER GIRL"
If you don't love me enough to dump her, I don't want to try to love you.
You said you could live with it, me loving another guy, you being the 3rd love in my heart
But I can't be with someone and love someone else.
I cant be with someone when that SOMEONE is loving someone else.
I don't accept two timing, whether I'm the one getting timed or not.
If you can do it to her, You obviously can do it to me in future.

You claim you love me, claim that you know I'll love you again like I used to.
I was fucking Sec 1, What did I know about love?
What do you know about love?
You may be fucking hot, you may be a great talker
You may be one of the greatest friends I have had.
But this is rubbish
I know I promised you we could try this again, when I know more about love
But i NEVER expected you to want me to be your "OTHER girlfriend".
I never expected to fall in love with someone else.

I was willing to give it a try, I was.
Cause HE barely speaks to me anymore.
But I have a better chance with Allie than you.
At least She wants me to be her only one.

Sorry, Ranting. I don't mind being friends with you, really
But I'm not going to be the only one trying to make it work.
B, if you're not going to try, neither am I.

Thailand has been boring so far, but it normally always is on weekdays.
Weekends are the fun times, cause my dad is off
Maybe we're going to columbia this time, HAHA random aye?
I bought 8 new dresses, they're pretty.

It's time i think before i talk.

2007-11-19T10:08:00.000-08:00

Believe me, i will stop talking about him.
Not on this blog, not to you guys.
I'm keeping it to myself.
I'll stop the constant crying in front of you guys
You're getting sick of it anyways.
I'll act happy for you all, okay?
I've said it once, and i'll say it again.
My life is a fucking play put up for you guys, cause if i showed the true one.
I'll never have friends.
And if I get over him, none of you will know either.

I'm sorry.

Full of shit

2007-11-18T06:24:00.000-08:00

Sarah Arista. says:
i just wanted you to know
Karina says:
well theres no point in saying sorry since you did it
Karina says:
and dont lie and said you didnt know it'll hurt me cause you of all people know how i feel abt him
Sarah Arista. says:
i didn't mean to hurt you and i thought you'd understand that it was just a joke
Sarah Arista. says:
i do know how you feel about him
Sarah Arista. says:
precisely why i wouldn't want to do that to you
Karina says:
wow, thats rich, since you did it behind my back
Sarah Arista. says:
i wasn't flirting with him
Sarah Arista. says:
and i didn't do it behind your back
Karina says:
well you didnt do it infront of me
Sarah Arista. says:
well you weren't there
Karina says:
exactly
Sarah Arista. says:
okayy
Karina says:
if i was there you wouldnt have done it right
Sarah Arista. says:
that's not true
Sarah Arista. says:
i said what i did as a joke
Sarah Arista. says:
and nothing more
Karina says:
i wouldve physically hurt you as much as you mentally hurt me
Sarah Arista. says:
there wasn't a hidden agenda
Sarah Arista. says:
i didn't want to flirt with him
Sarah Arista. says:
i still don't
Sarah Arista. says:
i just wanted to clarify it with you
Sarah Arista. says:
and you can believe what you want to
Karina says:
yeah i can
Karina says:
and i believe your a dirty little liar who flirted with the boy of my dreams
Sarah Arista. says:
that's your point of view
Sarah Arista. says:
at least i can die with a conscience
Sarah Arista. says:
that i didn't leave things hanging
Sarah Arista. says:
and i apologised
Sarah Arista. says:
if i meant to flirt
Sarah Arista. says:
i wouldn't apologize
Karina says:
once again, why apologise if you did it
Karina says:
you so would
Karina says:
like i said, your a dirty little liar. you flirted cause you didnt expect me to have such awesome friends
Karina says:
friends who wouldve fucking told me if someone like you did that
Sarah Arista. says:
that's not true
Sarah Arista. says:
i know they're awesome friends
Sarah Arista. says:
and i'm sorry you see things that way
Karina says:
im sick of listening to you la, your fulla shit

Thank god for true friends.

2007-11-15T20:53:00.001-08:00

Thailand for a month starting tomorrow.

If i don't pack, maybe I won't go.
But if i stay, theres no point.

Friends

2007-11-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

I expected something like that from you really..
Yea, maybe i was wrong about who you are.
Maybe it was the other guys, but it probably is you cause the others have a life or dignity.
You've been my close friend for so long, you know how i feel at this moment
The fact that you wanted me to date you when you know ALREADY that youre not the guy i love.

I guess its time I choose my friends more wisely.

Oh i did some lame quiz today. But the results are damn cute.

Yellow - Jolyn - Someone you will never forget
Orange - Ziyang - Someone you consider you're true friend
Red - Adib - Someone that you really love
White - Claire- Your twin soul (I chose white cause "DONT WEAR WHITE!" )
Green - Iylia- Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life

I realy didn't cheat, but the answers got me laughing at how true it was.
HAH.

I'm seeing you today, I hope it doesn't all kinda fuck up.

Tong Hua

2007-11-12T05:54:00.000-08:00

TONG HUA - ENGLISH VERSION
this song always makes me cry

I've forgotten how long it has been
since I've never again...
listened to you telling your beloved fairytale
I've thought for a long time
I start to panic
have I done something wrong?

You said to me full of tears
Inside the fairytale are all lies
I can't possibly be your prince
Maybe you can ever understand
ever after you said "I love you"
The stars in my sky has lightened up

I'm willing to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe...
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

You said to me full of tears
Inside the fairytale are all lies
I can't possibly be your prince
Maybe you can ever understand
ever after you said "I love you"
The stars in my sky has lightened up

I'm willing to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe...
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

I want to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe...
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

I will be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe...
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

Let's write our ending together

Someone sing this song to me, someone dedicate this song to me.
And i don't mean those 4 guys who keep pestering me.
I think everyone knows who i mean

Here's the video, if you guys feel like crying, or are feeling strong, watch it.

oh the love

2007-11-11T08:02:00.001-08:00

From: Naomi
Date: Nov 11, 2007 4:38 PM

Hey Karina,I know this is like fucking weird to be typing these to you considering i dont really know you well.

I'm sorry for what happened at Deafcon yesterday, cos I was partly at fault that I wanted Sarah to be there and I never expected her to be that low for what she has done. I think I owed you that explanation cos I really felt guilty and honestly, I know you're a nice person and its not fair for you to be treated like this, considering its someone that you actually befriended, even for a while.

I read your blog like 10minutes ago, and I think you really love Adib. I honestly don't know what happened besides the fact you guys got together, then ended it, and that you;reupset about it.

I'm not the one who is in any position to tell you what to do, and what to not do cos I myselt is still in the process of letting go of someone I've been loving for 3 years. But I want you to knw, that you're stronger than everythng else that happens, that you'd grow with it, that no matter how anyone tells you to let go, you don't have to, if you don't want to.

i admit its nice to be thinking of the happy times spent together, perhaps sometimes even think of when you quarreled then made up, and how wonderful that person is to you. i admit sometimes you know you can give up and let go, but chose not to thinking maybe what happened could happened again.

As i said, i'm not here telling you what you should do, or not do, i just wanted to tell you that you're not alone in whats going on, and that you're not alone that has these happening. sure we could go onto the whose life sucks more thing, but I am sure I can understand what youre going in thru, and it hurts.

I think I've already said too much and you might be freaked out, but remember this :
its alright to be lonely, cos when you're lonely, you aren't alone.

and karina, you're stronger than any of these that happened, and take your time letting go if you want to, as long as it doesnt hurt you, its not a wrong. [:
remember you have lovely friends like mervyn& iylia and such. again, im sorry if i freaked you out. just thought you needed to know.

[:nice seeing you yesterday,
naomi. xoxo.

Its moments like this that make me smile. Its reasons like this that make me appreciate the people i've grown to love. Thanks Naomi, for letting me know im not alone. Thanks for putting everything ive thought down in words. You really dont know how much it means to me.
I know, it's just a message. But the fact that you took time to write this message, gosh, i'm touched, i really am

<3

Now if only you could see how much i love you. If only you would give us one more shot

Ms earth

2007-11-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

My brother's gf is Ms Earth, so he wants her to win, Anyways, the current winner is fugly, let Singapore win something for once aye? Help vote for her.

http://www.grandslambeauties.org/me07/me2007-vote.htm
vote for singapore, it's choose the country THEN click submit vote kay
not submit vote then choose country, that's why albania is getting so high
Everyone keeps doing that

Deafcon fucking 7

2007-11-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

I have right to be pissed.
I thought you were of higher standard than that

Deafcon was alright. I saw Leon again and gosh i missed him soo much.
I was thinking about him last week, and the fact that i havent seen my godbro in like a year
So seeing him today really brought my mood up.
There aren't much pictures, i was too lazy to take any.
I saw Mervyn during firebrands with a matress around him, that was cute, we laughed so hard.
Arshanti sprayed me with that snow thing and we kinda fought over it, that was fun too.
And no matter how stupid you all think it is, the most memorable time of the day was when Mervyn and I sat outside of Dxo, and he lent me his shoulder to cry like a maniac on.
Then Bunny joined us and i seriously never felt more love in nearly a month than i did at that time
Thanks for being there for me again, i'm sorry for crying so much.
Esp you Mervy, thanks for being such an awesome girlfriend
STUPID BAND'S FAULT FOR PLAYING THAT SONG.

I just wish we could be once more.

2007-11-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

PART OF -im getting over you by the click five
HI KYLE =]

And people asking how I'm doing?
But every question still has you in
I say I'm fine
And I never think about you
But you're always on my mind.

I'm getting over you
I'm getting over you most of the time
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true
I'm getting over you

Deafcon tmr, i can't wait to see you. I hope its not awkward. I hope i don't break down in the middle of story-telling.

CLAUDIA'S HOUSE!

2007-11-05T02:23:00.000-08:00

So today Junita,Rachel,Claire,Chaiming and I made our way to Claudia's house to swim swim act stupid and swim more. We met up at around 1 45 (so much for 1 30 aye?) at Bedok then went to Kembangan to meet up with Chaiming,then we walked to Claudia's house and went up to put our stuff and order Macs . We swam swam swam until the macs came and swam even more. Then we made out with claire cause everyone wanted to, acted stupid, took jumping pictures, and used the shampoo in the pool. We left with the pool in a horrible state and went up to bathe and leave. IM SORRY CLAUDIA!
Nothing much to write about, cause we didn't do much. I spent the day hurting myself, gaining blue blacks and talking about sex. HAHA. Oh and trying to stay up on the float but dropping repeatedly and failing.
"HOW DO YOU SPELL FAIL?"
"IM TOO LAZY TO SPELL CHAIMING!"
okay, lame karina lame, just slap me.

Swim swim

In love with Junita's face

Rachel looks really happy

SO MUCH FOR NO SMOKING JUN

Relac only

Junita solo

Rachel Solo and fisheyed

Chaiming solo!

Me solo

Chaiming looks very happy

Posing

Failure one

Failure two

Failure three

Failure four

Failure five

We gave up jumping

Splash effect

Claire just smiling, Junita being blur, Chaiming liking her hair way too much and Rachel being one of our teachers

Cause she totally looks cool like that

Bathing in the pool

Mohawk

Act cool

Emo hair

Claire thinks her hair is cool

Look at the amount of soap on chaimings hand

Mohawk baby

Ice cream hair

I love my best friend

I really do

Threesome

Claire looks naked

I love this picture man

Rachel a little too happy getting ready to kiss the Porn star, Claire
I don't have a comment really

I jus love her tits

They're just mad i kissed claire first

Meet my best friend

Chaiming Excited ah

EVERYONE KISSING CLAIRE

I got the first kiss

Chaiming

Junita

Rachel

I just love her lar

Claire damn lucky man, everyone wants her

One more time with Chaiming

2007-11-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

bianca - eternal damnation says:
hahaha i think the click five is made for you.

I agree. I really do. GOSH Kyle, just marry me and serenade me everyday. Please and thank you.
And i love iylia so much for giving me their poster, Getting a frame for it ASAP.
Pictures and update for the halloween party going up soon. once Mr Mervyn sends me the peektures.
It was fun, though i cried half the time, but hey, when don't i cry, aye?
And i love everyone for the times they've been there for me.

Bunny - Thanks for giving me a whole different way to see things.
Mervyn- Thanks for all the hugs i asked for and you gave to me. Thanks for having patience when i was crying like a fool.
Trish - Thanks for those kind words and making me have fun and forgetting things.
Jolyn- Gosh, i don't know where to start with my thank you's to you. Thank you for giving up the fun in my room to just listen to music and cry in the balcony with me. Thanks for hearing me out and letting me know you care, i really needed that. Thanks for spending the night with me, and the following morning too.
Sarah - You, you're the one who cried with me, drank with me, sang with me, cried even more with me, and let me know i'm not the only one who is feeling like that.
Evan - The guy who hung with me in the balcony when everyone else was having fun in the room. Who made me laugh when i didn't feel like laughing whatsoever. No, scratch that,The guy who made me laugh like a maniac the whole day, esp in the toilet, lol. Sorry you had to leave early, but you brightened up my night alot.
Claire - YOU made me feel better, what little time you were at the party. And made me smile just thinking about everything you said previously, so i laughed at myself alot.
Ziyang- For telling me everything straight to my face, and making me wake up and be realistic
Pre - Thanks for popping by even though you had your exams to study for, Though i told you to stay home and study. I really loved the fact that you came, and had fun with us, and it made me feel better cause i was just so down.
Iylia - HAHA IYLIA LET ME START BY SAYING THANKS FOR THE POSTER YOU BITCH . YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME! And also, thanks for totally popping by when you weren't even expected cause i was just so happy to see you.
Adib - You made me feel a little better on the second day, when you came online. I admit I was kinda drunk, but you still made me smile. Thanks for pretending that everything was fine with us, though you felt pretty awkward. Really, thanks.

GOSH, I SOUND SO MUSHY.
Let me sign out with a song that i really love now, GOSH, i love the click five.

"Long Way To Go"

Was it you
That said that she could never get enough of me
But you confessed
That when we were alone you had to tell yourself to breathe
So maybe I
Should feel a little more like I've been living in a dream
Well I'm asking you should I stay

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long way to go

Why would you?
Wanna be with me instead of other guys
Oh make me feel
Like something special
God I think I've heard a million times
So would it be enough
To buy you everything and call you mine
'Cause it won't last long if I do

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long way to go

If I would leave tomorrow
You'd be the last to know

Even though I love you
If we stay together

Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
If we stay together
(it could get worse, then again, maybe it could get better)
Even though I love you
(I can't help thinking about if I'd be better without you)
Somethings wrong we both know
That you and I still got a long..long way to go

Long way to go
Long way to go
Still got a long way to go

Now it's my turn

2007-10-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

It's fucking amazing how someone can change so much in such a short period of time.Or, maybe that someone hasnt, and i am just looking at everything in a totally different (bad) point of view now.
Either way la, things have changed, and it's amazing how so much can change within that short period of time.
And now, don't go all thick skin and think i'm talking about you. But hey, if you do think this is about you, means you see negative changes in yourself too.

Btw, i'm learning to live my life without relying on anyone. Without needing a friend there for me to lean on, cause after a while that friend will leave, and i'll end up alone once again.
I don't wana become vulnerable just cause i trust someone so bad. I can settle my problems on my own, i know i can. I know what i should do and what i shouldn't do. And believe me, i'm going to try my best to not show my down-side-emotions to you anymore, like a certain day with that certain someone. I've gotten over that, i've gotten over everything. I know i just need myself to get through this, no one else.

Forced to say this "all hail daniel. he is shmexy"

HEAVEN AND HELL

2007-10-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

Started out pretty okay, i wore my Mango dress and flats to meet Pre and after a while Jolyn came, I ate and acted stupid, then we went to pick Mr Mervyn up at Bugis MRT. We then went to somerset to pick Sarah up. I switched to my high heels for a while but got too lazy cause there was alot of walking and changed back to flats again. While Mervyn bought something from 7-11, i spotted Trish and Josh walking down the street and Jolyn called them. After a while, we went to the back of Taka to join them. Later, Ziyang called and said he was coming so we made our way slowly to fort canning. Ziyang and Adib were there waiting for us, then we walked up to the gothic gate place . We were just in time for Heaven and Hell and though I personally think Ozzy owns Dio, it was still pretty rocking. We didn't go in though, we're not so rich, lol. Jolyn and I left to pick Bianca up and i saw David there. That made my day cause I miss my bestie OH SO MUCH. Went to pick up Bianca and then we walked back slowly to the rest of the gang. Trish, Jolyn, Sarah and I attempted to speak chinese and after a while only Trish and I were left. I such though, but i found out cha means fork, so at least i know how to say fork now, thanks Sarah. Anyways, after the concert, I changed back to my high heels and left for Chevys to meet up with my family for a night of partying. But, by the time i reached, Derrick, Roxanne and Corrie had left for ZOUK for the halloween party (derrick was a dead glam rocker, roxanne was a fairy and corrie didn't dress up but said he was a rasta anyway, HAHA) and Kegan already puked everywhere, and got sent home. But I told my mum not to worry, i'll be the next Kegan. So i sat next to her and continuously gulped my JD coke, cause for some reason it kept refilling. Within an hr , the room was pretty much spinning and my aunties pulled me to the dance floor to dance. I danced and turned around to see some hot guy, he was about 21 i think, and i thought hey, why not, just dance with him. So i danced with him then they played Dont matter by akon. And i started laughing at how ironic it was that i was dancing with this super hot guy, when Don't matter usually makes me cry, since it's the song that my mum gave in to me dating Adib. But i had the most fun during that song, and i was giggling the whole time at how Ironic it was. But anyways, i danced and danced till my feet hurt so i took my heels off. I knew the DJ so he joined us to dance for a while, and i couldnt stop laughing. He played some random indian song and all of us tried doing some indian dances, it was fucking hilarious. Anyways, then i drank and drank more then i couldnt walk properly, and everyone was fucken tired, so we went back home. Now its like nooon but everyone is practically still dead, cause everyone has hangovers.

PICTURE TIME

The gang

We saw Trish(fox) and her friend so we took pictures with her too

Dresses <3

Failed attempt cause the picture took too long, HAHA.

Could yesterday get any better?

Brunei!

2007-10-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

Okay okay, here are the brunei stuff.
The holiday was spend mostly swimming, shopping and visiting.
Nothing else, and 3/4 was spent driving around cause Brunei is so big.
I'm lazy to write about it, so i shall just post pictures.
Lots and lots of pictures.

Boredem in the plane.

Yes i do!

My daddy helped me too.

The final

OXBOW LAKE! someone stop me from learning geog

I love the beaches there

It's so pretty

But there are alot of tree shit.

I can't take it, it's so pretty

Acting cool

I still say it looks so fake

Look ma! i'm flying

A larger version of Adib's friend

I love this dress

The family

Play some chess with me.

Fancy some gas?

Such a cute petrol kiosk.

And then my daddy said "lets have a little prayer in the little mosque" and we went WHATEVER SO LAME

So much for reverse parking

The Men.

The girls.

The long car rides got me bored

I look stupid, i really do.

I love this picture

Camwhoring with my daddy

The beautiful beach

Mosque number 1.

Mosque number 2

Say goodnight

2007-10-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

"Say Goodnight"

Our seperation has it's faults
But I don't wanna leave it all
So write the letters in teary ink
I just need some time to think
And I just need some time to breathe

Baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You know I can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby just say goodnight

We're in a spell that never ends
The empty hourglass wore me thin
So let the phone do it's work
Your voice is heaven
But it hurts
Your words are memories
But they burn

Baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You know I can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby just say goodnight

Baby don't say goodbye
Baby just close your eyes
And dream,tomorrow's on it's way
So just walk away

Baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You know I can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby just say goodnight

Baby just say goodnight

It's time i move on. You don't want to hurt me, but frankly i'm still getting hurt.

Oh and by the way, X japan is awesome

-Theres a face behind my mask. I know not of this face.-

2007-10-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the brunei post should be up tomorrow, i found my camera stuff and im charging it now.

Okay, so lately life has been great. Nothing much has been going on, but for some reason , i appreciate the nothing i do. Okay anyway, watched resident evil with Evan,Val and Jolyn yesterday, and it wasn't that good really. I was just glad i could go in, haha. Okay, so i have about 24ish days in Singapore before i go to Thailand for more than a month. I want to have as much fun as possible before that, because i doubt it'll be the same once i'm back.

I have things that need changing, and i do intend to change them. Whether you know it or not love, i actually do listen to you. I heard everything you told me, and i know it's for the best i change. I agree, i really do..

Horoscopes

2007-10-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

My horoscope. i dont AGREE with everything, but still..

Virgo and Independence:

Virgo is a very independent zodiac sign. They are fully able to put their intelligence to use and get things done for themselves.It is possible however that their narrow mindedness causes their creativity to suffer and they may lead regular routine lives. They may dwell too much on the past and over complicate things and this may limit their ability to move forward and confuse themselves. In conclusion, Virgos are able to be independent but the less evolved types will have difficult if someone is not there helping them to achieve more and not be so critical of themselves .

Virgo and Friendship:

People look up to Virgo for friends because they are straight thinkers and solve problems logically. They are truthful, loyal and determined. Some people might find them cold or emotionally detached because they live in their minds, not in their emotions and feelings. It might be hard to pin down how a Virgo friend is feeling because they easily live in denial. A person who is able to read deep into another person will notice when Virgo is not well but if they confront them about it, they would rather retreat then talk about it. It is best to keep your emotional distance from a Virgo friend unless they open up to you first. Virgo might try to analyze and control a friend's life but only with the idea that they will improve their life, not purely for the sake of controlling. Be patient with your Virgo friend and understand that their recommendations are only to make your life better.

Virgo and Business:

Virgos are very intelligent, they have an excellent memory and a highly analytical mind. This makes them good investigators and researchers. They also have the ability to probe into a person's emotions and they can often see into people and detect what their motives are. This makes them great policemen or interrogators. Virgos are very good at problem solving, this is what they do best. They are confronted with a problem, they will pick apart the pieces and put it together in the proper order. They are rational thinkers and are good at settling other people's disputes and putting them on the right track for reconciliation. Any position that requires the above features, which is a very long list, is perfect for the Virgo. They keep the world in order.

Virgo Temperament:

Before a Virgo plunges into anything, from a problem to a vacation idea, they need to analyze all the facts and know all the details before they plunge in and make a decision. This makes them seem indecisive and slow. Virgo's perception is their reality, more so then other astrology signs. What they believe is what will be, if they have a negative outlook on life, things will present themselves to be negative and they will be very moody and isolated/detached. If they are positive, the same events that occur will be held in a positive light and they will be a pleasant, well adjusted person. A Virgo mind is a very powerful mind and they must have the proper attitude for their life to be happy and successful. Virgo needs to get in touch with their feelings, this is why they usually seem cold or detached. They are very prone of living in denial. They will say the feel okay or everything is alright even when it's not. This is an easy way out, the one thing that Virgo does not like to analyze is their feelings so pretending everything is okay is a good defense mechanism for not having to take a closer look at their feelings. Virgo has an unpredictable and sometimes unstable temperament. .

Virgo Deep Inside:

They need to be organized in their mind, sometimes all their energy is taken from organizing their mind that they have a difficult time organizing their surroundings. They easily look too deep into an issue and over analyze what they percept. Virgo is ambitious and strives to always know more and have more. This is in their eternal quest to bring order to chaos. Even if order is obtained from an outsiders' point of view, Virgo will not be settled for they have a very active mind that is always thinking and can never be silenced. Virgos want to be of use, they need to be important and essential to everyone in their lives and in everything they do. Virgo's major life lesson is to learn to trust in and have faith in the unknown. They have to understand that things in life happen for a reason that is not always known to them, they do not have to always know everything. They need to learn to calm down and not over-analyze a situation or event. Deep inside, Virgo is very sensitive and they need to be appreciated for all the things they do. When is Virgo is offended or hurt, they may never show it.

Virgo in a Nutshell:

Virgo exists in the mind, everything is inside. To the world, Virgo presents a calm and collected exterior but on the inside, nervous uncontrolled intensity in the mind, trying to figure things out, how to improve everything, analyzing and thinking. Virgo can tire itself out without even moving! Virgo has a constant drive to improve and perfect, this can lead to extreme pickiness and finickiest. They are pure, their motives are honest never malicious and they want to accomplish something.

Virgo Love, Sex and Relationships

What it's like to date a Virgo Woman:

A Virgo woman is earthly and she may seem cold and detached, but underneath the timid, reserved surface lies the real woman, a strong, passionate woman with a great capacity for strong devoted love. She will play hard to get, she is hard to get for she is worried about exposing her emotional vulnerabilities and getting hurt. She requires patience and you will have to court her and work hard to impress her. Once she is in love, it is for the long term. She will be devoted, loyal and make you very happy and even put a little order in your life. Virgo woman is conservative and old fashioned, a typical woman who is perfect for the man who loves a challenge and likes to take a relationship slow.

How To Attract Virgo:

Virgos need intellectual stimulation. Impress them with facts and details. Always try to come to conclusions when having a conversation, they do not like topics that go nowhere, they like conversations to come to a close or consensus, even if you agree to disagree. They are very conventional people so do not do anything spontaneous or force them to make a hasty decision, they take their time and think intensely in their mind. They are not slow, their brain is working evaluating everything. Do not attempt to probe inside their mind because their emotions are pretty much closed off until the relationship is solid, and they will decide when that time will be. Virgos are natural worriers, do not let this get to you. Do not give them cause to worry because this makes them get wound up like a spring. Let Virgo take the lead, they like to be in control of what is happening. Keep the date tasteful and do not be vulgar, they like calm and classy surroundings and people.

OKAY THE END=]
btw, life is awesome, oh so awesome, could life get awesome-er?
p.s.s. brunei post cant go up yet,cause my camera has a problem.

Talks with Girl

2007-10-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY 10 MONTHS KAISHA. YOU AND HATIM ARE OH SO CUTE TOGETHER, INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING AYE? ;)

I had a chat online with Girl yesterday, about the recent happenings with my life and stuff. I can safely say she helped me alot and the advice she gave me really is going to help alot.
I can't put it here cause then people i don't want knowing about my problems will know about it.
Lets just say, she knows alot and leave it at that.

If you see this, thanks alot Girl, thanks for listening to my ranting.
At least i know someone out there has gone through what i'm going through and felt the fustrastion that i feel.

Now, all i need to do is wait and see. See whether things actually do change.

Made up story

2007-10-05T09:59:00.000-07:00

I have a naked man in my hairy bush. "What the fuck?" said Jesus to Ziyang and then they continued to satisfy each other. They used dildos with goat faces to have fun. Jesus then ate some cabbage soup and fed Iylia, who happily drank cum and soup. She said "Yuck!" and killed herself. Mervyn is awesome. Ziyang killed Mervyn. Ziyang is necrophiliac. Iylia then returns. She then died happily once again. Smelly goat faeces and Iylia's hair were thrown at Jesus's hairy ass.

Jesus was turned around on his side and he blessed Ziyang with piss and shit. Ziyang smiled ecstatically. "Fuck you Mervyn", groaned horny Ziyang after he raped humself unknowingly. Mervyn was brutally incinerated together with Jesus...NOT. Jesus laughed at Mervyn's demise."

The things we do instead of studying like we should, haha.